where the heart is. really.

home is a place i never dread coming back to...

even when people are shocked at my long 6 week christmas break, i pretend to be just as shocked as they are and whine about how long and boring it will be but {i am secretly thrilled}.

home is a place where i can sleep in without feeling guilty, look out my window, stare at my ceiling that i painted blue with clouds in 6th grade, walk down the stairs that my feet have memorized, pester my beautiful nephews, sit on my kitchen floor and eat ice cream, have my whole family reunite on a frequent basis, build a fire with my dad and stay in my sweatpants as long as i so desire.

home is a place i am enraptured in.

home was so intensely helpful to me this time around. coming home, being embraced with love, rest and encouragement {which is what i am always embraced with} seemed life saving.

this year has been one of uncertainty, decisions, hard conversations, time management, realizations, growing up, sacrifices and exhaustion - being home extinguishes all these troubles and reminds me of what is lasting in this life.

relationships.

i have learned infinitely more from my relationships than i ever could from plopping my brain in a classroom for hours. i have learned more from arguments, difficulties and heart throbbing disappointments than any bad grade on a test. i have learned how to love deeper, trust more fully, and let go of my own desires for the desires of others far more effectively than in any textbook chapter.

it takes coming home where love flourishes and thoughts are free to waft through my mind instead of being interrupted by my schedule, to realize how good i've got it.

if everything in my world came crashing down around me as of now, i am now confidant that because of the relationships with my family & friends... i would be solid.

that's a realization that i am so blessed to have had, because although i may have previously understood this concept, now i am sure; now i believe it, now i live it.

in other news:

i am shooting my first wedding tomorrow night! my friend phil was kind enough to let me tag along on the wedding he is shooting so i can get some exposure to the wedding photography scene, super cool of him to offer. time to get me anxious/nervous/excited little feet wet.

i am in the process of creating my photography website to better market myself and my future business. {so exciting}

im saving up to get a canon slr of my own, so if you know anyone who is selling one, let me know!

i have had a piece of tape stuck to my sock all day, and will leave it there because of the great crinkly sound it makes.

silly.

... is what i am for staying up so late for no reason.

getting carried away on photography websites seems to be my new habit.

{and a delicious one at that}

but never fear, for tomorrow i get to sleep late for no reason.

yum.

christmatastic

i've been home a week and my suitcase still looks like it erupted and left its remains in every available surface of my bedroom floor.

there's been dance parties, high school parties, nephew parties, best friend-frozen pizza-couch potato parties, sleeping in till noon parties and joyously-remembering-i-don't-have-to-go-to-class-or-do-homework parties {those happen often, and are delicious}

my tummy is full, as well as my heart... it wiggled around in there and made room for some joy.

Christmas was beautiful & full of family, food, and festivities... top notch.

there's been talk of ice skating, sledding and snowman making in the near future... i like all of these things and am savoring all this incredibly wintery business.

well, the melodious tunes of iron and wine & bon iver are now bringing sleep to my eyes and mind once again.

{christmas photos soon}

{sigh}

after a ridiculously difficult semester in all facets of my life, never have i been happier to come home.

as soon as i got here, i was welcomed by lovely rain, christmas decorations, my favorite cookies, and that wonderful pine tree smell.

i beat my family home from wherever they were, and fell asleep on the couch, awakened later by lawson screaming like a wild child, bella barking and many hugs & kisses from my beloved family. the days continued with dinners, shopping, movie watching, oversleeping, and love - lots of intentional love... that i didn't know i needed so badly.

a few days have gone by and i'm becoming less like a zombie and more like myself.

i'm working on some issues within my heart, but am hoping to put them behind me soon and be thankful for them instead of hurt by them. and trying not to understand because i don't think i ever will, but to accept / get over / and get on with my life.

when the day comes that i can reflect peaceably and have no more sadness or stress - i will know that this stormy season of my life is over, and that i will be able to further appreciate the new mercies and ways of growth God will allow me to experience in these upcoming months.

if i have learned anything from these constantly difficult past four months, its that God is:

faithful, present and persistent.

i know without a doubt that he presented me with countless obstacles, so through overcoming them i would grow a little more into the woman he created me to be.

even though it sucked, a lot.

that's not to say there weren't amazing things that happened this semester, there were many. here are a few.

- having the privilege of getting deeper rooted in my church

family through music and youth ministries

- being treasured by and belonging to one person

and the amazing gift that is.

as well as memories made, life lived, and love my heart gave

- finally admitting my passion and pursuing it full force,

even though i am still terrified of what that means as a career

- watching all 10 seasons of friends,

a pointless, but much needed personal victory

- and discovering that in my constant weakness

God's strength & love are made perfect.

here's to six beautiful weeks of home, love, and rest that i so sincerely need. {sigh}

recharging.

sitting on the couch with my beloved miss tierney, a tummy full of ice cream, a body filled with relief and a mind cluttered with a million thoughts; some pressing, some distressing, some pointlessly entertaining. finally... guiltless rest.

i've gotten caught up on my favorite website and stumbled upon some lovely things {below} that ease the eyes and the mind...

i had a good critique on my design final website tonight that i've been working on foreverrr - i was trying to figure out how to post a link to it but my fingers and brain aren't communication well enough at the moment... soon.

even though tomorrow i have errands to run, a bathroom & room to clean, a fridge to empty, clothes to pack, books to sell, words to say, goodbyes to give, and miles to drive... tonight, i am basking in this wonderful new friendship i've made... with doing absolutely nothing.

time to turn off my brain, and turn back on my heart.

cheers christmas break, so far you're a doll.

sunrise.

playing on photoshop... keeping myself occupied.

one. more. day.

today.

today i can get out of bed.

today i can close my eyes without them burning.

today i can think about something else long enough to settle down.

today i can take deep breaths with out telling myself to.

today i can eat, sleep and have conversations.

today i can almost focus.

today i can begin wanting to understand.

today i can try to let God mend my heart,

piece by piece back together.

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not abandoned;

struck down, but not destroyed.

We do not lose heart.

Though outwardly we are wasting away,

yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us

an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.

For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 corinthians 4:8-9;16-18

gosh.

'broken' by lifehouse

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin', I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

friday.

W/O/A/H/

craziest final i've had in a long while.

this morning was my contemporary art trends final and i ended up filling 11 blue book pages with critical analysis essays of particular works. nuts. BUT it is over, thanks jesus for all your help.

in other news: shannon tierney is a fantastic roommate. after i had a late night and an early morning, when we met for chapel she brought me my favorite tea and some of her momma's wonderful banana bread. wonderful. its been so fun living with one of my best friends.

today we had a roommate date night and it was greattt. including deck the haven, starbucks and moulin rouge. mmm. much needed girl time where our brains are being used for far more fun than studying.

now on to a field trip tomorrow for class, last worship practice for a long while, and some website making. soooo close. so close.

"Have you not known? Have you not heard?

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He does not faint or grow weary;

his understanding is unsearchable.

He gives power to the faint,

and to him who has no might he increases strength."

isaiah 40:28&29

trains of thought

yesterday was my beloved angela blake's birthday. and after giggling with her late into the night i realized how much i miss that crazy little darling. and how much i value my friends and am so lucky to have them to fill my heart and walk through life with me.

i also realized that there are only SEVEN days left in this semester.

7? really? ridiculous.

these past few months have flown by and been some of the most difficult and discouraging months i've had, probably to date. but i've grown a lot from september till now, and i am so thankful for that transformation, even though it came at a pretty painful price.

yet anoooother realization, that there are only SIXTEEN days till Christmas.

WHERE IS MY LIFE GOING? ha, dramatic, but still - this season has been such a creeper, i didn't even see it coming!

but i am continually grateful that it's here. its presence means rest, family, cold weather, oregon, holiday cheer and no school till february. i'm so excited. so excited.

in other news, discovering new music makes the world go round. i am basking in new music glory and its distracting my soul from the craziness my brain is experiencing (aka...finals). thanks music, for finding your way to my grateful ears. xoxo.

7.7.7.7.7.7.7 days. let's go.

current musical obsessions

This is what my ears have greatly enjoyed this weekend:

- Hearing Damage - Thom Yorke

- Possibility - Lykke Li

- Half of My Heart - John Mayer

- Two Tongues & Paper Cup - The Swell Season

- Internal Heights & The Lime Tree - Trevor Hall

(who I saw live on Saturday after trying to see him for like 2 years. SO SO good, one of my faves)

- Whatever You Like - Anya Marina

- Someday - Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johansson

( I know, I know... Scarlett? It sounds crazy, but Pete Yorn far outweighs her and balances it out, its super good)

- All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye & Edge of Desire - John Mayer (new album)

- Roslyn - Bon Iver & St. Vincent

- Crips - Ratatat

- Husks & Shells - Volcano Choir

- White Christmas - Otis Redding

- Winter Wonderland - Phantom Planet

____________________________________________

Now go. Eat, drink, and be full of glorious music my friend.

(this is long but just read because its SO great)

I am for an art ...

by Claes Oldenburg

I am for an art that is political-erotical-mystical, that does something other than sit on its ass in a museum.

I am for an art that grows up not knowing it is art at all, an art given the chance of having a staring point of zero.

I am for an art that embroils itself with the everyday crap & still comes out on top.

I am for an art that imitates the human, that is comic, if necessary, or violent, or whatever is necessary.

I am for an art that takes its form from the lines of life itself, that twists and extends and accumulates and spits and drips, and is heavy and coarse and blunt and sweet and stupid as life itself.

I am for an artist who vanishes, turning up in a white cap painting signs or hallways.

I am for an art that comes out of a chimney like black hair and scatters in the sky.

I am for an art that spills out of an old man's purse when he is bounced off a passing fender.

I am for the art out of a doggy's mouth, falling five stories from the roof.

I am for the art that a kid licks, after peeling away the wrapper.

I am for an art that joggles like everyones knees, when the bus traverses an excavation.

I am for art that is smoked, like a cigarette, smells, like a pair of shoes.

I am for art that flaps like a flag or helps blow noses, like a handkerchief.

I am for art that is put on and taken off, like pants, which develops holes, like socks, which is eaten, like a piece of pie, or abandoned with great contempt, like a piece of shit.

I am for art covered with bandages, I am for art that limps and rolls and runs and jumps. I am for art comes in a can or washes up on the shore.

I am for art that coils and grunts like a wrestler. I am for art that sheds hair.

I am for art you can sit on. I am for art you can pick your nose with or stub your toes on.

I am for art from a pocket, from deep channels of the ear, from the edge of a knife, from the corners of the mouth, stuck in the eye or worn on the wrist.

I am for art under the skirts, and the art of pinching cockroaches.

I am for the art of conversation between the sidewalk and a blind mans metal stick.

I am for the art that grows in a pot, that comes down out of the skies at night, like lightning, that hides in the clouds and growls. I am for art that is flipped on and off with a switch.

I am for art that unfolds like a map, that you can squeeze, like your sweetys arm, or kiss, like a pet dog. Which expands and squeaks, like an accordion, which you can spill your dinner on, like an old tablecloth.

I am for an art that you can hammer with, stitch with, sew with, paste with, file with.

I am for an art that tells you the time of day, or where such and such a street is.

I am for an art that helps old ladies across the street.

I am for the art of the washing machine. I am for the art of a government check. I am for the art of last wars raincoat.

I am for the art that comes up in fogs from sewer-holes in winter. I am for the art that splits when you step on a frozen puddle. I am for the worms art inside the apple. I am for the art of sweat that develops between crossed legs.

I am for the art of neck-hair and caked tea-cups, for the art between the tines of restaurant forks, for odor of boiling dishwater.

I am for the art of sailing on Sunday, and the art of red and white gasoline pumps.

I am for the art of bright blue factory columns and blinking biscuit signs.

I am for the art of cheap plaster and enamel. I am for the art of worn marble and smashed slate. I am for the art of rolling cobblestones and sliding sand. I am for the art of slag and black coal. I am for the art of dead birds.

I am for the art of scratchings in the asphalt, daubing at the walls. I am for the art of bending and kicking metal and breaking glass, and pulling at things to make them fall down.

I am for the art of punching and skinned knees and sat-on bananas. I am for the art of kids' smells. I am for the art of mama-babble.

I am for the art of bar-babble, tooth-picking, beerdrinking, egg-salting, in-sulting. I am for the art of falling off a bartstool.

I am for the art of underwear and the art of taxicabs. I am for the art of ice-cream cones dropped on concrete. I am for the majestic art of dog-turds, rising like cathedrals.

I am for the blinking arts, lighting up the night. I am for art falling, splashing, wiggling, jumping, going on and off.

I am for the art of fat truck-tires and black eyes.

I am for Kool-art, 7-UP art, Pepsi-art, Sunshine art, 39 cents art, 15 cents art, Vatronol Art, Dro-bomb art, Vam art, Menthol art, L & M art Ex-lax art, Venida art, Heaven Hill art, Pamryl art, San-o-med art, Rx art, 9.99 art, Now art, New ar, How art, Fire sale art, Last Chance art, Only art, Diamond art, Tomorrow art, Franks art, Ducks art, Meat-o-rama art.

I am for the art of bread wet by rain. I am for the rat's dance between floors. I am for the art of flies walking on a slick pear in the electric light. I am for the art of soggy onions and firm green shoots. I am for the art of clicking among the nuts when the roaches come and go. I am for the brown sad art of rotting apples.

I am for the art of meowls and clatter of cats and for the art of their dumb electric eyes.

I am for the white art of refigerators and their muscular openings and closing.

I am for the art of rust and mold. I am for the art of hearts, funeral hearts or sweetheart hearts, full of nougat. I am for the art of worn meathooks and singing barrels of red, white, blue and yellow meat.

I am for the art of things lost or thrown away, coming home from school. I am for the art of cock-and-ball trees and flying cows and the noise of rectangles and squares. I am for for the art of crayons and weak grey pencil-lead, and grainy wash and sticky oil paint, and the art of windshield wipers and the art of the finger on a cold window, on dusty steel or in the bubbles on the sides of a bathtub.

I am for the art of teddy-bears and guns and decapitated rabbits, explodes umbrellas, raped beds, chairs with their brown bones broken, burning trees, firecracker ends, chicken bones, pigeon bones, and boxes with men sleeping in them.

I am for the art of slightly rotten funeral flowers, hung bloody rabbits and wrinkly yellow chickens, bass drums & tambourines, and plastic phonographs.

I am for the art of abandoned boxes, tied like pharohs. I am for an art of watertanks and speeding clouds and flapping shades.

I am for U.S. Government Inspected Art, Grade A art, Regular Price art, Yellow Ripe art, Extra Fancy art, Ready-to-eat art, Best-for-less art, Ready-to-cook art, Fully cleaned art, Spend Less art, Eat Better art, Ham art, Pork art, chicken art, tomato art, banaana art, apple art, turkey art, cake art, cookie art.

I am for an art that is combed down, that is hung from each ear, that is laid on the lips and under the eyes, that is shaved from the legs, that is burshed on the teeth, that is fixed on the thighs, that is slipped on the foot.

(May 1961)

_______________________________________________

YEA YEA YEA YEA!

This is what expelled all my fears of becoming an artist.

All my insecurities went out the window when I happened upon this at the beginning of the semester.

This is the kind of art I want to make, scratch that...the art I will make.

december things

Things:

-I got a B on the largest & most important paper of my semester from the most GENIUS professor who I really admire. Little bit life changing, I thought it'd be a C or C- for sure. So stoked.

- Ice Skating Night event for Social Board went super well, over 400 students showed up and not only did we break even but we made money, and had so much fun.

-As my life gets crazier, my room gets messier... sorry Shan, haha.

- I am TRIPPIN out that there's less than two weeks of the semester left. Trippin.

- I have to give the gorgeous SLR camera I've been borrowing back to my friend next week, it will be a sad sad day in the life of Rachel McCord. I've grown to love that little contraption.

- I am afraid that Mono is coming back, and this is a very unopportune time for it to do so. I guess it's not coming back, its just fluctuating, and since I've been going non stop its just angry with me.

- I just realized my family will pick out the Christmas tree without me this year :( my favorite Christmas activity.

- My gramma is having cancer removal surgery on Wednesday. Please be praying. Recovery will be long and painful.

- There are not many things that cannot be bettered by a hazelnut Chai.

- I can never get over this time of the year, its so bittersweet, I want to hang out with everyone that I won't see for weeks but have so much work to do, its always a mad rushed two weeks. This time I'll try to love it, not love to hate it.

- I can't wait to be home, away from finals, away from illness, away from stress and sometimes sadness. I can't wait to rest and be a kid for a while.

I am chosen

Isaiah 42

The LORD’s Chosen Servant

¹Behold my servant, whom I uphold,
my chosen, in whom my soul delights;
I have put my Spirit upon him;
he will bring forth justice to the nations.
²He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice,
or make it heard in the street;
³ a bruised reed he will not break,
and a faintly burning wick he will not quench;
he will faithfully bring forth justice.
⁴He will not grow faint or be discouraged
till he has established justice in the earth;
and the coastlands wait for his law.

⁵Thus says God, the LORD,
who created the heavens and stretched them out,
who spread out the earth and what comes from it,
who gives breath to the people on it
and spirit to those who walk in it:
⁶"I am the LORD; I have called you in righteousness;
I will take you by the hand and keep you;
I will give you as a covenant for the people,
a light for the nations,

⁷ to open the eyes that are blind,
to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon,
from the prison those who sit in darkness.

⁸I am the LORD; that is my name;
my glory I give to no other,
nor my praise to carved idols.
⁹Behold, the former things have come to pass,
and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth
I tell you of them."

__________________________________________

Our God is incredible.

Something I shouldn't have to remind myself of, but I do.

Because I am small and silly. But I am striving for more and to be more.

back to business

Home was marvelous. A whole week home was bliss and just what the doctor ordered.

Now its two straight weeks of MADNESS and then finals until Christmas break time commences.

I love home, but its good to be back in my little Biola nook with my apartment, roommates, classes, lunch dates with friends and my own portion of the shelf in the refrigerator. I love leading a weird double life. I'm a completely different kind of myself both at home and at school. Neither world which I bounce back and forth between will ever fully grasp the other. Two realms that are so deeply important to me will never truly appreciate each other. Odd. Odd and great.

Well... ta ta social life, see you in mid December, let's make it a good one when we next meet.

t.h.a.n.k.s.

"You are my God, and I will give you thanks;

you are my God, and I will exalt you."

Psalms 118:28

This year I am thankful for more things than I can even write down.

Most importantly I am thankful for my incredible family. With the lost jobs, new jobs, illnesses, new life, growth of relationships, and the provision of the Lord amongst it all has been an amazing thing to witness and be a part of.

I am more than ever thankful for health this year. Being sick for 3 months in the heat of difficulty in my life was ridiculously challenging and I constantly wanted to give up, drop out, go home and hide under the covers waiting for it all to fade away, but I didn't. I didn't because of the strength and steadfast comfort of the Lord that I am here healthy and getting better everyday. He is my healer.

I am also thankful that God has led me to where he wants me to be with the choice to pursue photography for my Bachelor's degree and has given me the confidence to seek, learn, enjoy and be immersed in this new train of thought that I had previously pushed aside for fear that I was insufficient and wouldn't be liked or successful. But this year I have learned that is not a good enough reason not to pursue my dream and passion. So, now I am and it's been incredible thus far. I get excited just thinking about it.

I am thankful to even be blessed enough to go to an institution like the one I attend. It's been one of the greatest blessings and definitely the most fruitful 3 years I have experienced to date. The Lord provided once again, when it looked as if I wasn't able to return this year and that was one of the biggest blessings of the year. I can't wait to see what the remainder of my time at Biola holds for me, because I know that is where I am supposed to be.

I am thankful for Shane, this amazing man that happened to me this summer. Everyday, even though we are apart, is better because he is a part of it. He is a lover of God and people. We are completely opposite, but completely similar in many ways that we endlessly compliment each other. I can't wait to see what kind of adventures we will continue to have.

I am thankful for the amazing friends that bless me daily, bring me joy and wisdom overflowing. I can't believe that they will not always be in my life so I want to make sure to take the time to appreciate them to the fullest.

And not lastly, but not at all least... I am thankful for my God. None of these innumerable blessings would be prevalent in my life had he not chosen to pour out his love on me and bless me richly far beyond what I deserve. Everyday is new with him, every mercy is shown by him, every step is guided by him and I am always blown away. Praise him.

propozies

Take a peek at the act of engagement of the soon to be Mr. & Mrs. Witt!

In order to view the show the password is: password

http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a207/RMBHJC/Brooke%20and%20%20Ezra/?albumview=slideshow

tired

tired eyes tracing the page

following tired fingers

taking orders from a tired mind.

upward glances from a tired lap

revel an old couple checking their blackberries.

a young girl watching

her feet kick back and forth

a pensive reader

an aggressive eater

all waiting to file into the tired plane.

music pulsing through tired ears

ring notes of comfort and relaxation.

spending four dollars on gum and water

my tired wallet opens to satisfy the bill.

tired heart within my chest skips a beat

with the joy of knowing that soon

it will be home

where it will find refuge and no longer

possess tired emotions reflected in tired actions.

but will be refreshed like a dip in icy waters

and beat anew with zest and zeal.

my tired self will soon heal.

___________________________________________

wrote this in the airport.

i am now home and it is so great.

Sweaters, boots, sleep, family, meals, hugs, and that wonderful homey smell.

fragments of thoughts

just another thing i've been working on.

we had to do a teach yourself / poster project,

and i taught myself this.

its a pretty crappy photoshop job...

and is still under the knife, but here it is.

______________________________________

this week is pure insanity, and apparently

blogging is good medicine because i am

less stressed as of this very moment.

______________________________________

i got to be part of something really cool.

today i photographed the act of engagement between

brooke and ezra, it was really neat and fun to be a part of.

i've never been part of something like that

and it was a really neat experience.

here's a snippet, more soon.

______________________________________________

i wore my favorite winter coat for the first time this season, today.

it was love.

my windows also got super foggy and i had to use the defroster.

so nostalgic.

i also went to the beach today.

what tangled web of weather am i weaving?

_____________________________________________

only 8 pages to write about Annie Leibovitz,

a video crit, a chapel and 3 lecture classes separate me

from T-Gives 09. holler back youngin.

take a peek

Ze video I've been working on for my 4D class:

Just in time.

This weekend was full of a variety of things. Lingerie party,quality roommate bonding time, sitting in bed all day doing nothing of importance, being at church with a bunch of rad high schoolers {who i'm gonna miss a lot over these next coming weeks} and being WAY more active than I have been in months, which is weird and a little tiring.

I participated in: capture the flag, volley ball and ultimate frisbee this afternoon. I didn't really even work too hard at it and I'm now super tired. But it felt great to be up and at em again and haveno one pity me for being sick or tired, to just be. And be a kid again no less, hanging out with a bunch of 15 yr olds really makes you appreciate the little things. Now it's an evening of homework and caffiene for the long week ahead. But this week has a reward: home, hugs and happiness.

So, I may not blog again until I'm in Oregon {!} Ahhh, Oregon. You know you live in a great place with great people when you're still excited to go back whatever chance you get. 6 DAYS! Can't get over how soon it came, and how even sooner it will go. But I'm pumped nonetheless.

Here are some pretty things that happened this weekend:

{below and above... faux bridal glory at Emily's lingerie shower.

my bride - Jillian, in the middle - won best dress, duh.

me, shan and amanda know how to dress a lady.}

{much needed roommate time}

{and a lovely lemon tree growing behind my apartment, so cheery}

Come quick please, 3pm November 21st! :)

feel

how i feel about God

how i feel about creating art {comes naturally}

how i feel about the future {wide open}

how i feel about introspection

how i feel about growing up {i never will}

how i feel about life currently

how i feel about my faith and Christianity as a whole

how i feel about the world today

how i feel about travel

how i feel about heaven {breathtaking}

how i feel about the distance between washington and california

how i feel about the importance of perception

how i feel about school {currently, not always}

how i feel about the importance of imagination

i've been feeling a lot through photos lately.

this is such a remarkable thing, and an affirmation that this is finally what i am supposed to do with my life.

so great to make it here.

to know my purpose and to work ever more fervently towards it.

creatures and dancers

For my Digital Tools class, we just learned how to use Adobe Illustrator and our first task was to create 20 bugs/creatures/monsters within the program and present them in a creative way.

So, I hand drew {via computer} these 20 little creatures based on the popular stuffed animals, UglyDolls. They turned out pretty true to form and took about 8-9 hours to create due to the process of Illustrator using tons of layers, vector points and individual manipulations.

Woah, lots of work. And I cut them out and displayed them in a shoe box, trying to simulate the big collecting project from elementary school where you collect bugs and stick pins in them, and put them I'm a shoe box. Shootin for nostalgia.

Here are the creatures, please enjoy their oddities.

In other news...

- Shane Claiborne, author, Christian revolutionary activist is speaking at Biola tonight. I'm a fan of his books, his life and his attitude so I'm stoked to hear him speak tonight.

- This weekend is the lovely Emily Leechman's {soon to be Mrs. Koinis} bridal/lingerie shower. Shannon and I are embarking on a scandalous lingerie quest this weekend. Couldn't be more excited.

- EIGHT days till lots of brisk weather, lots of hugs, lots of scarves and warm beverages, lots of family, lots of food, lots of pictures, lots of rest and lots of merriment.

P.S. This video is fantastic. I came across it while doing a video project for 4D and I can't stop watching it. And soon realized that I must include it in my project.

Please enjoy it's oddities as well.

true confession

at this very moment i am watching season 3 of The OC in bed, eating Nutella and drinking Simply Orange with Pineapple, winding down from a long day and trying to gain motivation from simple girlish pleasures. thanks wednesday, you've treated me well.

in other news...

- thanksgiving countdown: NINE days

- boyfriend countdown: 14 days

-its $1 boba week at bobaya....there goes 10ish dollars and 5ish more pounds {woooorth it}

- Dashboard Confessionals new album is out and in my ipod on repeat.

- may or may not have made THE best christmas mix of all time.

- there are a million mysterious fruit flies reproducing in our apartment. why why whyyy?

- i am OFFICIALLY a photography emphasis {formerly a design emphasis} and could NOT be happier about it!

netflix for art.

For Web Design:

- Had to create a company, a coupon, a banner, and two parts of a site with a specific theme and based upon the libraries we created previously of all the components that make up a site.

My company:

- Abundant Art, basically Netflix for art, which would be awesome if it were real. Pretty much renting art, keeping it as long as you like, sending it back and getting the next one in your line up, or even purchasing it if you can't part with it.

Pretty cool, eh? I thought so too.

forgive the frenzy of fotos....

... i frequently feel florescent and frisky when i find frames of film that i fancy.