Oh, dear.

How silly of me to think...ok great, midterms are over I will have a little time to catch up and chill out before the work starts piling up again. So funny. I already have another test, and paper, and project. Due next week, fun! Not to be a debbie downer, but I'm not too pleased with this whole massive amounts of stuff to do business...not my cup of tea.

BUT Thanksgiving break is in a few weeks and there are many wonderful things this time of year that seem to make me feel better regardless of the craziness in my life.

1. The temperature is slightly dropping here in SoCal, I'm wearing a scarf today in hopes that it will actually get cold enough to be functional instead of merely fashionable.
2. The leaves are falling....love it.
3. Punk n' Pie. Biola's annual talent show that was last night. Very entertaining and festive, and free pumpkin pie afterwards (which is the real reason my friends and I attend in the first place)
4.Halloween festivities. Tomorrow night I will be Tom Cruise from Risky Business, very exciting.
5. Being able to listen to Christmas music soon, without feeling weird or festivly out of place.
6. I get to go home soon to REAL fall weather in lovely Oregon w/ the people I love. CAN'T wait.

Until then, I will enjoy all the faux fall that California has to offer.

My walls are drowning...

When entering my dorm room, it is normal to be visually overwhelmed. The normal reaction we get from visitors is "Woah! It's crazy in here...so many colors!" It is normal to feel instantly cluttered and get the sensation you are walking into an area people have been living in for months and months. My roommate and I have a clutter problem, well more like a clutter craving. We both feel most at home when we are surrounded by the things we love, and we both love lots of things, clearly.

I have accumulated lots of love and have plastered my walls with it. I brought back some (giant) leaves from my visit home this month, which are hanging next to the Art Wall, which is next to my posters, which are next to my Italian peace flag. And yesterday I got the pictures I ordered in the mail from Snapfish, and they are frantically taking residence on almost the entire wall next to by bed. And above my bed (which is the bottom of Angela's bed) is also covered with pictures, collages, postcards, verses, magazine cut outs, and of course...James Dean.

The outward expression of myself is on display in every wall of the room. My love for my family, friends, the outdoors, my home, traveling, appreciation for different cultures and countries, photography, art and adventure. My walls are drowning...and I like it that way.

I don't really want to jump rope right now, thanks though.

There are many things I could and probably should be doing right now, but I'm just not motivated to. It feels like when you're about to dive into a jump rope or double dutch session, you just can't seem to find the right time or strength to hop in. Partly because you don't want to get slapped in the head with the rope, but mostly because you don't want to get tripped up, tangled or flustered.

Hmm, I can't really put a finger on why I'm feeling this way lately, but I definitely know that it's weird and that I don't want to be in the audience of my own life. I feel like maybe it's because everything in my life at this point is bound by a tight schedule, and I don't think I'm really a schedule type person. I feel like I need to step outside of the limitations I have on my life and just get away, but that's totally not an option right now.

I also feel like the things that are occupying my time are very lukewarm. For instance, my job - yes it pays, but it also takes a lot from me personally and I don't know how much longer I can be drained by it. My classes - yes they are good, but they are getting pretty discouraging, art is kinda tough right now and I'm starting to wonder if I'm cut out for it. I really want to be because I really enjoy it, but I feel so silly sometimes. My friends - are wonderful, but I don't get to spend time with them as much as I would like to because school is taking over all of our lives lately. My spiritual life - is being enriched by my classes yes, but is getting overshadowed and even diminished by all this commotion going on.

Man, I did'nt realize how much I had to whine about. I'll try to take that down a notch. And hmm, well I'll just try to find a way to spice up my life. And also make time of nothingness to just...be.

Dear Fall, please come to California. Sincerely, Rachel

Ok, so I've officially decided I am a cold weather person. I've always enjoyed summer weather, being outside in the sunshine and all the super fun activities that type of climate entails. But ever since I've moved down here for school, I get the opposite weather effect than one you would assume. People that live in cold climates, I'm guessing, get depressed when it's cold and rainy all the time. For some reason, I'm getting way bummed out by all this WARM weather! I know, right? I've got it backwards. I have been craving cold weather literally everyday and would take a sweater over a tank top in a second! It's funny because when it gets even a little bit chilly down here I bundle up, hoping that it will get really cold...and then I just look silly because it's barely cold enough for a sweatshirt, jeez. I wish someone would inform SoCal that it's time for it to be fall now =)

It's weird though, I wish that I could just chill out and enjoy all the warm weather, but I just wanna cuddle up and listen to the rain...I guess I'll have to wait till I head back up to Oregon and get my freezing fix. Maybe until then I'll just blast the AC and take cold showers, we'll see what I come up with...

Artistic Overload

Woah, it's been months since I've been on here! And not to treat it like a diary, but goodness so much has happened since then. But recapping is silliness and there is no need, so just pretend everything is up to date and every detail has been expressed vividly.

I feel like the biggest thing I've been learning this semester is how to think and see things artistically. All of my classes have successfully opened my eyes to see each subject differently and with a fresh outlook. My art classes especially have been smacking me around quite a bit and have been training my mind's eye to wield its creativity in a way that is visually and verbally expressive. I find myself in everyday life noticing value, composition, lighting and on and on in every day objects or views; I would have NEVER cared or even valued this before. I find myself thinking, "hmm, how could I draw that?" Weird, I know. And I also know I do NOT draw, but I'm learning, slowly.

My philosophy and theology classes have been very stimulating as well. They have opened my mind in a deeper and more realistic since that are based upon my core beliefs. I am constantly in awe of what I learn in these classes because they are literally pinnacle points of my life that I base all beliefs, decisions, and actions upon and I am now being challenged to express these beliefs. It's so tough, but so great and beneficial.

I feel like in all these things, I am being drastically overstimulated, my mind actually might eventually deflate because of all this junk (helpful junk, but junk none the less) that is waiting its turn to hop into my brain and boggle me. This is all part of why college is so crazy. When am I ever going to have this opportunity ever again? To sit all day and listen to some of the wisest and most experienced minds in their field? When again can I ever be a mental garbage disposal and just take in and digest everything I'm learning and experiencing? When will I ever be able to be surrounded by people that encourage, inspire, and bring joy to my life that can relate to me in my current state of life right now? Never.

Even though I feel like I'm being mentally and artistically fire hosed right now, I really don't want it to end, and I know it will, so I've just gotta be a sponge.