struggs.

just spent the last 11 hours in the airport. 10am - 9pm. flight delayed, then delayed, then delayed, then cancelled. at one point the plane i was supposed to get on, once it was in the air, it turned a r o u n d. what? really? yes. madness.

11 hours, 2 diet cokes, lots of photoshop, and 3 free "oops, we're sorry" pieces of pizza later. i am still in medford, oregon. and it is no longer thanksgiving break.
this is silly/stressful/tiring/reallynothelpfulatall.

ok, i just needed to get it out.
i'm done whining now, i think.

fingers crossed that wind shileds on planes don't crack tomorrow and don't need to be teased and repaired for 11 hours.

(also fingers crossed that the completely dreamy man in the leather jacket is on the flight tomorrow. i could smell his armani from 5 feet away. yeah, that good. i may or may not have been in the same room with him for too long. only time will tell)

why thanksgiving was great

thanksgiving was great because...

right when i walked off the plane i saw snow on the ground. ptl.

i closed my moleskin planner at baggage claim and didn't crack it once till monday.

i did 4 photo shoots. yeah. f o u r. (both great & grueling)

i got to wear scarves, boots, jackets and socks. everyday. mmm.

i logged copious amounts of nephew cuddling, family love time and friend fun.

i was freezing for a whole week (literally, our heater broke), and loved it.

even though i had to work more than i got to play, i was in my house, at my home, savoring the part of my life which takes place in a different area code.

the next 3 weeks will be a marathon, and i'll have the warm fuzziness of tgives to hold me over till christmas. 

here is some evidence...

pure glory.

the grandest mccord/fair/scott/pannell tradition of all time

the result of: me, lauren, childhood nostalgia and a wee bit too much Riesling.

the original thanksgiving, obv.

homehomehome

snow, leaves, lunch dates, ice cream runs, impromptu piano lesson, and nephew cuddle sessions.

so good to be home.

it's setting in

senioritis.

i've lost [almost] all desire to be in school.
i'm procrastinating.
i'm dawdling.
i'm late to things.
i apologize to my planner for filling it from corner to corner; a cramped handwriting massacre.
i'm day dreaming about the elusive - yet ever present "after graduation"
i'm sleepy, always.
i'm too busy to do fun things.
i'm pretty sure even my camera battery is tired.
if i don't write it down, it doesn't happen.
oops. i guess that's how it goes.

the other day i was planning out some things [my show date, graduation, signatures, transfer classes etc] and it hit me...
my life as a student will be over f o r e v e r on may 28th, 2011.
i've been a student for like 16 years or something ridiculous, and now in 6 months i just... won't be.

the more i chat with my pals about their post grad plans, the more i realize that soon i will be expected to make some decisions, take some risks and be really really poor just like every graduate before me.  i'm not sure i'm okay with the social norm.

it's always been so far off in the distance that i've never stopped to consider what will happen when i actually get there.

well, i'm there and let me tell ya... it's weird.
and i know that in 6 months when this is all behind me, it will be even weirder.
it will be as if part of my identity has now been stripped away and i now have to figure out who i want to be for the next chunk of my life.
huh, so bizarre.
i'll letcha know what i can scrounge up.

too busy to blog

because this is what my days feel like...

[philip lorca dicorcia, look em up.]

9 more days till i am home in oregon.
where i plan to drink chai every day, keep my planner tucked away in my suitcase, pile on many layers of warm clothing & lots of mccord hugs, and bask in the slowness of life, the falling of leaves and use of my windshield wipers.

cannot wait. c a n n o t.

but these next 9 days will be jampacked. yikes. just thinking about it makes me want to take a nap. maybe i will...

amen to that.

seriously, amen.

gearing up for another week of absolute craziness.

i'm sure you are as well. 

godspeed, my friend.

i love being aunt ray ray.

yesterday my heart melted into a puddle on the floor. and i'm pretty sure its still there.

amber (one of my sisters) called me in class and as i picked up i heard this lovely little voice saying: "oh, hi ray ray, i miss you!"

U G H. slayed me, right then and there. insta-tears.
it was Lawson, my favorite freakin 2 year old.

shortly followed by this little voice: "blorajdja hi rayraaay asndlk"

Tanner, my favorite one year old.

my day was made, and i had a silly smile on my face for at least an hour.

after talking to amber for a bit she told me that when my whole family gets together when i'm at school Law always says "where's ray ray?"
my dear sweet little neph notices when im gone.

gosh, so amazing. and breaks my heart even more that i'm not there.

after lawson singing me a song and tanner mumbling adorably i said goodbye - feeling so refreshed and loved and missed. and now i really s e r i o u s l y can't wait to go home and squeeze the living daylights out of these little creatures. only 18 more dayssss. ptl.

spice up your l i f e.

for halloween my dear sweet roommates and i went as the Spice Girls, duh.

Angela - Sporty Spice (hence the sports bra)

Melissa - Posh Spice (hence the black)

Myself - Ginger Spice (hence the red)

Christina - Baby Spice (hence the pigtails)

also, our friend Sam was Bob Dylan

we (with our neighbors in our apartment) impromptu trick or treated, 

we played fax machine, we played cutthroat mofia, 

we acted like 6 year olds when we hoarded/traded candy, 

we watched a scary movie before bed and were terrified for hours. 

overall we just played which was lovely.

 

and this candy has been sitting on our counter ever since...

since then i have...

spent 10 hours on an insanely meticulous art installation with my photographer at work, taught myself how to print a photo on wood with liquid light, got kicked out of class for not doing the reading, didn't eat for 12 hours straight (on accident), attempted to do an art instillation in the park with dresses illuminated by candles hanging from trees, and nearly caught the whole place on fire due to the dress that burst into flames, after which i had to buy tons of neosporin for my blistering hot wax burns, and wanted everyday to be cold and at home instead of sweating it out in 90 degree heat in november.

its been struggs to say the least.

but i'm done whining now, just had to get it out.

it's now the weekend, and tomorrow were throwing a man-themed birthday party for Melissa (Posh Spice), complete with mustache cake, xbox, pickup line contest, burgers, coffee and donuts and man attire. should be a whole bunch of manly fun. mmm.

i will never get tired of this

beyond precious.
watch.

n o v e m b e r r r r .

i love november. 

its one of the most pleasant months. 

in 4 weeks i will be in this very spot, hopefully with another enormous leaf like this.

my soul is happiest when it's a little chilled, when i'm with the ones i love, 

and when i'm breathing deep the change of seasons. 

O R E G O N, come quickly please.