this is extremely long, i don't expect you to read it in its entirety. but if you do... you will probably be real glad you did, just sayin. hands down most ridiculous 24 hours of my life.
disclaimer: this is a true story. literally
no exaggerations
or fabrications. also thank God for the iphone.
it all started with me and christina wanting to go on an adventure over labor day weekend when literally a l l of our friends were out of town, busy or working. we thought about the beach, we thought about the city, and then we thought about salvation mountain... and stopped thinking, and went.
when i say stop thinking, we kind of really stopped thinking. we may or may not have lost all forms of common sense because we thought it sounded brilliant to leave in the evening, drive 4 hours, sleep in the back of my jeep, wake up the next morning and explore. right? easy enough. wrong... we were very wrong.
here is what happened and what turned into the most adventurous and hilarious experience of our lives.
so we decide to leave at around 7 after having dinner, getting gas and boba (duh) we were headed down the 91. a couple hours later when all the street lights were gone and the roads were out of control, we started to realize that this was real life, and really foolish, but of course kept going anyways.
our original plan was to pull off on the side of the road and park it for the night. after realizing that all the towns had less than 3 stop lights, were a stones throw from the mexico border, and were legitly filled with tweakers and nightdwellers... we started to pee our pants a bit.
we planned then to pull into a campsite and just park there, but naturally they were all closed or make believe because we found no campgrounds.
when we stopped at Ski's Inn (aka Skeeze Inn) to ask for directions in Bombay Beach, we were greeted with three very inebriated mexicans who then proceeded to ask us if we wanted to "let us follow them to the campsite." When that didn't work they straight up asked us if we wanted to party. After we rolled up our windows and sped off while they were running after our car.... we decided to look for a hotel, ha.
After checking out one hotel that was $50 and-a-prayer to stay alive-a-night, we asked a cop where the next closest/safest spot would be. After basically telling us how stupid we are, he gave us a couple cities to check out down the road. So off we went, i hope he at least got our plates in case our car was reported abandoned. I bet he's still giggling to himself, ha.
So here we are, its almost midnight, bouncing down the 111hwy, not sure where or if we will sleep, we pull into Calipatria Inn a few miles down and the office was closed, so we couldn't stay there. Pretty freaked out, tired, hungry and in desperate need of some bathrooms we just parked. After we parked and sat for a few minutes we thought, "Hey... let's just stay in the car here, its well lit and were surrounded by tons of cars." Deal.
Good thing that was the plan all along because n o w we were prepared. We pulled out our laptop, movies, candle, blankets and animal crackers. Livin the life. Even though it was 101 degrees at midnight and it felt like we were sleeping on the sun's back porch - we were parked and we were gonna sleep. Two happy campers. Still feelin kinda sketchy, I called one of my good friends at home to tell him where we were ( so at least someone would know our last location if we got snatched ) and he was on top of it in seconds, looking up where we were, how far it was from big cities and even devised a plan B for us if we got busted at the inn parking lot. We both felt instantly calmed and apparently just needed a boy to tell us that we would be safe if we stayed smart and should just chill out, because we did.
Since it was a million degrees, we had to sleep in our underwear and even then lost 10 pounds in sweat (which we later gained back in doughnuts), we woke up at the crack of dawn, 5am by both the sun and some noisy hunters slamming their doors and rustling about. We were then very aware that we were sweaty, in our underwear, and surrounded by strange men with guns. So as soon as they shipped off we peed behind the jeep and left.
Pumped that we actually made it through the night, we were blazing the 111 once again, on our way to meet Leonard and the Mountain. Once we got there the sun was on its way up, so we laid down with the trunk open, sleepy eyed and being wafted by the hot breeze, we watched the sun come up behind the cross on Salvation Mountain. Coolest moment I've had in a long while. Then we drank our Arizona tea and Hostess doughnuts, got dressed and walked across the street to see the mountain.
Right when we got there Leonard greeted us, gave us a dvd and a whole bunch of freakin postcards and magnets (which are now a l l hanging in our fridge), and he chatted us up for a few minutes, being as looney and kind as can be. He then insisted to show us around himself in his precious old straw hat and paint covered clothes, that man is a beast. For the next half hour Leonard chatted us up about the Mountain, how he made it, his tire trees, the kids that come see it and the fact that "if they get enough people to talk nice about it, congress will make it a natural treasure, and keep it around for like 500 years - it'll be fine, touch it, its tough as a boot. it'll be real nice, we can get can public restrooms and make it look real good."
Leonard = champion.
Then he told us to take the yellow brick road (like literally 8 times, his marbles may be entirely lost). So we did, walked to the top, and sat on the crest of the mountain and marveled at what the heck had happened and was happening. Then we ventured back down the mountain, paparazzied that place up, explored, talked, and giggled. Leonard had left for a bit, so we were the only ones on the mountain, probably the only ones for miles. It was crazy, and rejuvenating. After chatting some more with Leonard we were on our way (it was only 9am, which felt so insane). We took a jumping pic or two by the sign and hopped into my steaming hot baked potato of a car, we drove over to slab city and explored a bit. After walking on top of an old army bunker, we heard some door creaks, fan blows, and saw drillings and got the eff outta there, literally sprinting to the car. That's when we were ready to head home.
On the way out we thought oh hey, let's stop by the Salton Sea right? Wrong. That place looked and smelled like the dump. So we didn't swim in it leisurely as we intended, but we were there, which was good enough for us. Our ipods were real dead at this point, so we listened to adventures in oddessy tapes as I tried to pry my eyes open. After a stop at In-n-Out, caffiene, and lots of giggling about the day later, we were home. And passed out on the couch for three hours. S U C C E S S. Best day ever, you now understand our need to massively document every detail.
Also: "yeah sure, we'll party with you, we'd love to get raped," KOA closed till october?, peeing/screaming in hilarity behind the jeep, the painted vail/fear of cholera, ultra paranoid about the hunters, 3 hrs of sleep, flicking granola bar into christina's bra, "what's the difference between a crackhead and a tweaker? crackheads will steal your shit and bounce, tweakers will steal your shit and help you look for it," getting checked/insulted by border patrol, giggling/yell at Leonard, madly searching the iphone at all hours, nip slip in in-n-out bathroom, bonding like crazy... friendship heightened.
