Wednesday, December 30, 2009

where the heart is. really.


home is a place i never dread coming back to...


even when people are shocked at my long 6 week christmas break, i pretend to be just as shocked as they are and whine about how long and boring it will be but {i am secretly thrilled}.

home is a place where i can sleep in without feeling guilty, look out my window, stare at my ceiling that i painted blue with clouds in 6th grade, walk down the stairs that my feet have memorized, pester my beautiful nephews, sit on my kitchen floor and eat ice cream, have my whole family reunite on a frequent basis, build a fire with my dad and stay in my sweatpants as long as i so desire.

home is a place i am enraptured in.

home was so intensely helpful to me this time around. coming home, being embraced with love, rest and encouragement {which is what i am always embraced with} seemed life saving.

this year has been one of uncertainty, decisions, hard conversations, time management, realizations, growing up, sacrifices and exhaustion - being home extinguishes all these troubles and reminds me of what is lasting in this life.

relationships.

i have learned infinitely more from my relationships than i ever could from plopping my brain in a classroom for hours. i have learned more from arguments, difficulties and heart throbbing disappointments than any bad grade on a test. i have learned how to love deeper, trust more fully, and let go of my own desires for the desires of others far more effectively than in any textbook chapter.

it takes coming home where love flourishes and thoughts are free to waft through my mind instead of being interrupted by my schedule, to realize how good i've got it.
if everything in my world came crashing down around me as of now, i am now confidant that because of the relationships with my family & friends... i would be solid.

that's a realization that i am so blessed to have had, because although i may have previously understood this concept, now i am sure; now i believe it, now i live it.


in other news:
i am shooting my first wedding tomorrow night! my friend phil was kind enough to let me tag along on the wedding he is shooting so i can get some exposure to the wedding photography scene, super cool of him to offer. time to get me anxious/nervous/excited little feet wet.

i am in the process of creating my photography website to better market myself and my future business. {so exciting}

im saving up to get a canon slr of my own, so if you know anyone who is selling one, let me know!

i have had a piece of tape stuck to my sock all day, and will leave it there because of the great crinkly sound it makes.

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