I do my best thinking when I shouldn't

In the middle of a lecture.
Sometimes, amidst conversations, ooops.
While driving, when I should be looking.
When I should be doing a million other things with myself.
Mid-art critique.
Before and after naps, way groggy.

I think about what the day holds, what needs to be done, or checking things off my list.
I think about how my life has turned out, what has molded me into who I've become.
I think about the small things in my life, that when compiled, create a big mash of meaning, substance and joy.
I think about how much more I will grow up, and how much of me will stay a baby forever, and if I'm okay with whatever that balance turns out to be.
I think about the innumerable blessings I currently posses, and how I almost throw them away at times.
I think about who I will be, where I will be, what I will be doing, and how much joy I put forth into living 5 or 10 years from now.
I think about how to make my life count for something more than years.
I think about why I am so ridiculous, outrageous, and yet predictable.
I think about why I am afraid of things, what is holding me back from pursing my passions.
And mostly I think about why, to all of the above. Which is a whole other thing to think about.

Today I am thinking a whole lot about the one and only Lawson Boyce McCord who has been pleasantly existing on the earth for ONE YEAR today.

(this time last year)

(and now)

This little fellah is one of my absolute favorite people to ever live. He has been through a lot more physically than an infant should have to endure, and he did it all without even breaking a sweat. He is already so full of joy, expression, love and life. He is literally the coolest child I've met, to date.

And since I was not able to be there to celebrate, I have been thoroughly obnoxious from a distance, which is my forte. I loooove you Mr. Lawson, I hope you had a fantastic birthday filled with toys you can't yet figure out, cupcakes you could barely digest, and temporary light sensitivity due to overexposure to camera flashes. Hope it was a smash, champ.