Sum to the mer

Ooo la la. Summer is here.

So far it has been nothing short of delicious.

Right from the get-go summer included excellent nuggets dripping with liberation and goodness. Such as a weekend galavanting in Catalina with the best of friends, roadtrip featuring yours truly, all my earthly possesions, over indulgence of caffine and sunflower seeds, numerous insect suicides on my windshield and oodles of ear tickling music.

Since arriving home I spent almost an entire day catching up on Project Runway and drinking orange juice and not feeling a twinge of guilt or laziness but dubbed it "become human again" after finals and all that junk. It was heaven. Today was filled with much needed Brooke AYALA [still not used to that] catch up time over Muchas Gracias [yes Shane, I heeded your advice and half of my burrito is in the fridge] and jaunts to various retail establishments, with the promise of our Art Day tomorrow lingering in the air, yesss. The rest of the day was equally remarkable. Chilled with THE Lawson Boyce McCord and enjoyed teaching him new tricks and having scream contests, we tied. He is one super cool cat my friends...you can take my [completely biased, but valid] word for it. That was followed by showing the fam my art from this year and a trip to Sonic.

Ahh summer, I missed you.
Now off to listen to some Dashboard [duh, only the anthem of summer] and make some knick knacks.

You officially have permission to live vicariously through my futile attempts at summer until your summer arrives...I've been doing so to others for weeks, very fufilling. Ready, go.

Baaaah!

Oh. Man.

Word to the wise, if you enjoy mindless pleasure, face meltingly beautiful views, excellent cuisine and golf cart transportation, COME to Avalon, Catalina Island.
This weekend has been divinity.
After a week of crazy finals, and even more weeks of chaotic preperation to finals, packing up and carefully placing all my belongings in the back of my jeep as if it were a reall heavy puzzle....I am finished. It is SUMMER.
So what do I do?...Go spend time with my wonderous friends at Amy's in Avalon, of course. These past couple days have been nothing short of perfection.

My pal Emily and I hopped off the ferry and we were met by our lovely friend Julia because Amy was hard at work. We enjoyed some chinese food, later watched a movie and met up with Amy for cappucino and dessert at Villa Portifino, one of her family's restaurants, so delish.

Yesterday was glorious. Slept in, ate some brunch on the dock by the harbor, went to the beeeach, came back home and lazed around some more, went to Armstrong's (another one of their fantastic restaurants) had dinner, adventured around town a bit, windowshopped, enjoyed silly conversations over huge cups of coffee, danced by the water to the music from a bar nearby, went to get ice cream, came home, watched a movie and waited to Amy to get home.

Who knows what today has in store...hiking and eating are on the list, so that looks promising. Later tonight the Armstong's are having a big bbq for all their family and a few friends. Can't wait for that.

Happy Memorial Day friends, I hope that your day is equally relaxing and enjoyable as mine have been, you deserve it. I'm off to lay in the hammock now and look at ze ocean.

Alive and kickin'

Yes ladies and gents, you heard it here first...

After weeks of late nighters, all nighters, study guides, multiple diet cokes and chai bombs, lots of cutting, hot gluing, drawing, reading, art critiquing and exam taking...I am alive and a college junior, surprisingly.

This year definitely calls for a time of refection. Corny, but go with it, yeah?

This year has contained:

-The discovery and perusal of art, my sneaky underlying passion

-Along with that discovery, came the meetings of many interesting artistic people which I grew along side of and some of them I greatly admire because of their heart, passion, talent and drive

-The general "growing into my own skin", self discovery, self discipline, self contemplation and leaving a little more of myself behind while growing up a little more

-Finding and becoming and active part, in both music and youth ministry, of an amazing church body that I am pleased to call my home

-Road trips home, losing my voice as a result of too much/never enough song belting

-Having delicious adventures with my best friends all over ze stinkin place, some of my favorite memories are with those beautiful fools

-Frangelaaaa Blake. Who I will miss as she gallavants on the East Coast next fall.

-Gossip girl, The OC, Friends, The Office, Lost, and Gilmore Girls...oh the great time I had wasting time with you

-Naps, naps that saved my life and enriched my life

-Classes that rocked my world and world view and professors that I wish I could hang out with everyday

-Regular college gems such as: Top Ramen, weekly PB&J's, procrastination, school wide dances, longer than usual dinners, birthday celebrations, literally pinching pennies, waiting to do laundry until your outfit consists of no pants, and lots and lots of cheap or free goodies.

-Singing, with friends, in chapel, hymns every day in Theology (fave), in the car, at church, everywhere...sing.

-SPRING BANQUET with Amy Emily Trisha and Chelsea. Blast. SUCH a blast.

-Many love nook sessions in Shan and Eliz's room

-Tea, lots of great tea

-Go Lucky Clothing. Rise and fall and all the greatness inbetween.

-Finally understanding that I am not: what I wear, what grade I get, where I'm from, what I'm doing with the rest of my life, or who my friends are...I am a daughter of God.

-Danae and Brooke visiting me at school, me and Brooke visiting Danae at school

-Ha, awkward anything and everything

-Finding new things out about God, myself and my friends literally daily.

- LAWSON BOYCE MCCORD. His entrance and awesome existence in the world. holler.

-I learned even more that God's gift to me is encouragement, and I milked that baby for all its worth, and it never got tired. Thanks Jesus.

-I ate, I drank and was merry.

-I was with my family when they needed it most. Even though I was far away.

-Deepening my friendships and making WHOLE new ones, treasures seriously

-Wow, I did a lot more than I thought I had...carry on

- I've made a traveling circus, house out of twigs, chair with melting clocks, headdress for an angel, drawn nearly naked people (faves: BIG man named mike, wore only a fig leaf, and old Jerry prop of choice, baseball bat and white thong. yum) and don't suck terribly, taken some sweet photos and LOVED putting my anxious little hands to work to make something great, or at least try to

-I've adored being a part of the Biola community, feeling the presence and joy of the Lord on campus, among the faculty and students and in my dorm. This place is filled with purpose, passion, drive, spiritual foundations that are clung to and a community that won't quit. I'm so blessed to be here.

-Angela and I laugh more than any two people should be physically capeable. It's a dream

-I've learned that I will never stop learning. And I love that.

Bring it Junior year, you've got some tough compitition:

-Living/ working in the same office with SHANNON TIERNEY, Grace and Andrea. Constant greatness. In our off campus apartment. Joyus.

-Taking all art classes but one lit class next fall. Even more joyus.

-Going back to Mosaic. YEEES, church.

-Starting my job on Social Board Staff, planning and executing Biola events for all students

-Enjoying friends, life and more SoCal love.

I think we may have a winner....

A great many things.

Cluttered desk.
Empty stomach.

Tired fingers.
Alert mind.

Busy colors, busy textures, busy thoughts.
Quiet heart.

Sound, constant.
Fears, all the more constant.

Inspiration bumbling, trying to find escape.
Eagerness burning in my veins.

"We finally made it,
We made a clean getaway."

Hot hands.
Spinning situations.

Affections stirring.
Music pounding.

Emotion building.
Approaching the exit of academia.

"It took awhile for you to find me,
Cause I was hiding in the lime tree."

Breaking spirit.
Renewed sense of adventure.

I am thinking.
About a great many things.

Caffine machine.

I have recently discovered I really enjoy coffee. I've always consumed it for its gift of energy, but I am realizing it's just straight up tasty. Maybe this is because I have reaffirmed my love for ChaiBombs (chai and espresso. heaven)...who knows really.

Ahh, this is the most fun, frantic and nostalgic time of year. Finals force you to regurgitate all you pretended to learn over the many months of partial studying, class skipping and note borrowing.
In my case, its back to back all nighters gluing, sketching and photo arranging, which I would take over pouring over a textbook any day. I have literally forgotten how to study and write papers. It took me a whole week to write a 5 page research/response paper last week, seriously? And I have a 8-10 pager due before Wednesday...I started yesterday, we shall see how/when that puppy turns out.

Finals stress?

...nawww.

I'm excited to celebrate my (early) birthday with all my girls before we go our separate ways for the summer, I will miss them dearly. They are such a cooky, fun part of my life. And birthdays are really just an exuse to have a ridiculous good time.
I'm preparing to teach on Sunday to the junior highers, have band practice for my last Sunday in the worship band, have a few shifts of work, few pages of study guides to finish/learn, a self-portrait to draw, a photo final and artist's statement to concoct, two exams to take, paper to turn in, 9 chapels to attend (yeah, right...let's push for three), my whole life to pack up, and then...we are free and clear my friends. I'm oddly excited for my 11 hour solo road trip. It'll be good to have some solotude for a day. Hello summer '09, can't wait to join you in blissful merriment next week.

Keeping myself occupied at gate 68A.

Scurrying, bustling, stifling, rummaging. Laptops, metal detectors, magazines, coffee, liquid confiscation stress, lots of bumping sounds from my suitcase wheels against the tiles beneath me.
Trouncing around LAX with Starbucks in hand and headphones in ears. There's nothing better than dirty chai's and Ryan Adams in the morning, nothing.
Classic, this scene around me. Cute little fellah plopped down next to me, munching on a churro. His name was Charlie, I learned after his mother scuttled him away, after our exchange of hello's and my noted envy and inquiry of his churro...Charlie smiled, gave me a yup and went on with his 4ish year old life.

Men with polka dot suitcase, women in ties and trousers. My borderline delirium and attempt to caffinate. Making myself at home, 68A, 20 more minutes.
Made friends with two African somewhat goddesses, I could've listened to them talk all day, they were hilarious. We bonded over her cute suitcase and I helped them find their seats, it was a good relationship. You know you're heading to Medford when you see more Chaco's than Rainbows, more NorthFace than UrbanOutfitters and more genuine spirits than rushed tempos of life. The woman in my row likes to talk...heaps. I now no more about he brother Jacob who lives in Merlin, and his love for TraderJoe's popcorn that I ever wished to, yet she knows not why I am traveling today, hmm. The man in between she and I, is kind, and entertaining her remarks, but I know he is secretly jealous of my headphones, my anti-mornings policy and sketchbook escape.

Two men sitting in front of me, empty seat between them, have a rubber chicken seated there (who I later found was named Alfred?) who travels the world with them. Yugoslavia, Lithuania, Germany, Medford...the usual. It is confirmed that it is youtube-able. Go, I know you want to. Chicken on a rocket. Alfred, the transexual chicken... I know, you should've seen these guys.
Good Starbucks quote just now, "People need to see that far from bein an obstacle, the world's diversity of languages, religions and traditions is a great treasure, affording us precious opportunities to recognize ourselves in others. " -- Youssou N'Dour. All the while I am eavesdropping, the sound of "Medford" floating around in converstaion is like a lullaby. One of the greatest feelings is coming home.

Forced relaxation that I never knew I needed.

Busy, busy, busy, late for class, busy, busy, skip a class, busy, sleep a little, busy, real busy, turn in an assignment late, busy, get an A on an assignment, busy, busy, pack, busy, drive, busy... stop.

It's a weird thing when the thing you have been planning for, making room for in your schedule, trying to finish everything so you won't be behind...happens. This weekend I will be traveling home for the wedding of one of my absolute best friends, Brooke Erica Keller. I'm so giddy for her I'm practically skipping, I can't wait to be a part of this huge moment in her life and I am honored to be standing next to her on her special day.

But everything up to this weekend has been crazy, end of the semester, typical cram sessions, back to back laaate nighters and never enough time to get it all done. Registering for classes, figuring out study abroad, apartment lottery, job applications, finances, friends, birthdays, lingerie showers, current job = all work and no play makes Rachel a dull girl.

Now, I am forced to relax. Which I never thought would be so crucial to me, but let me just say...it apparently is. I'm at my beloved family's house in LA, spending some time/the night with them before I fly out in the morning. They live so close, yet I never see them enough, so silly. They are so great.
I'm sitting in the guest room and all I can hear is my own fingers typing and vaguely my cousin writing a paper/watching tv in the next room. I love the creaky floors, the mirrors in the hallway and old pictures from when I was 6 and awkward. I love apple pie and fake grown up talks with my aunt and uncle in the kitchen, giggling about boyfriends and bad 80's hair. I love sitting. I love not hearing girls screaming, doors slamming, vaccums, hairdryers and Carrie Underwood at all hours of the day.

I love that I can feel God more in the whispering, creaking, wafting moments of my life than in the screeching, slamming, heartpounding moments. I serve a God that grants serenity, not that dishes out chaos. And that is what I am currently appreciating.

This passage, 1 Kings 19:11-12 always kicks my butt, but has been especially appropriate this week and even now...

11 The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

God is not in the fire, but in the gentle whisper. He is so funny and great.

According to Ralph

Days

"Daughters of Time, the hypocritic Days,
Muffled and dumb like barefoot dervishes,
And marching single in an endless file,

Bring diadems and fagots in their hands.
To each they offer gifts after his will,
Bread, kingdoms, stars, and sky that holds them all.

I, in my pleached garden, watched the pomp,
Forgot my morning wishes, hastily
Took a few herbs and apples, and the Day
Turned and departed silent. I, too late,
Under her solemn fillet saw the scorn."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love is in the making

Birthday, Birthday, Mother's Day, Birthday. Danae, Lawson, Mom, Grandpa.

Card, almost card, card, card.

In an attempt to save money and personally bless each loved one, I decided to make cards for them. Sorry Hallmark, nothing personal.

I loved making them so much, thought you may wanna take a peek.



Today was grand. I finally feel at home at my church. So at home in fact, that I almost don't want to go to my real home for the summer, I will miss everyone immensely. Especially the junior highers I've gotten to hang out with lately, they are remarkable people. I feel like God has placed me specifically in this community, and I feel so blessed to be there. He is doing amazing things in me, in the church, and the surrounding areas. Thanks Jesus, you do good work.

I have learned this week, that in many ways, Love is in the making.

I do my best thinking when I shouldn't

In the middle of a lecture.
Sometimes, amidst conversations, ooops.
While driving, when I should be looking.
When I should be doing a million other things with myself.
Mid-art critique.
Before and after naps, way groggy.

I think about what the day holds, what needs to be done, or checking things off my list.
I think about how my life has turned out, what has molded me into who I've become.
I think about the small things in my life, that when compiled, create a big mash of meaning, substance and joy.
I think about how much more I will grow up, and how much of me will stay a baby forever, and if I'm okay with whatever that balance turns out to be.
I think about the innumerable blessings I currently posses, and how I almost throw them away at times.
I think about who I will be, where I will be, what I will be doing, and how much joy I put forth into living 5 or 10 years from now.
I think about how to make my life count for something more than years.
I think about why I am so ridiculous, outrageous, and yet predictable.
I think about why I am afraid of things, what is holding me back from pursing my passions.
And mostly I think about why, to all of the above. Which is a whole other thing to think about.

Today I am thinking a whole lot about the one and only Lawson Boyce McCord who has been pleasantly existing on the earth for ONE YEAR today.

(this time last year)

(and now)

This little fellah is one of my absolute favorite people to ever live. He has been through a lot more physically than an infant should have to endure, and he did it all without even breaking a sweat. He is already so full of joy, expression, love and life. He is literally the coolest child I've met, to date.

And since I was not able to be there to celebrate, I have been thoroughly obnoxious from a distance, which is my forte. I loooove you Mr. Lawson, I hope you had a fantastic birthday filled with toys you can't yet figure out, cupcakes you could barely digest, and temporary light sensitivity due to overexposure to camera flashes. Hope it was a smash, champ.

Reasons

I am excited for summer:

-No more dorms (screaming girls, toilet seat covers and bunk beds)
-No more classes (hw, exams, deadlines and back to back all nighters)
-To be H.O.M.E
-To be with family (with a new addition on the way)
-To go camping and wakeboarding
-BBQs, fireplaces, late nights on the deck, general summer bliss
-Lots of friend love time
-To make art that will not be receiving a grade, just my own approval and enjoyment
-Attending and celebrating a few weddings of friends
-Lots of music
-To counsel youth at church camp
-To rest, read, write, create
-To make some grand memories

I am not excited for summer:

-Leaving my beloved friends
-Leaving a community of all college babies
-Leaving ANGELA who I possibly may not see until FALL 2010! Yuck.
-No more beach/crazy sunshine
-I will come back and be: 20, a college junior, and more clueless about my future than when I left
-I have to take summer classes
-I have to get a new job, maybe two
-I have to not be lazy, which I will be, no doubt.

THANKFULLY, there are a lots more reasons to be excited than to be un-excited.
Either way, summer is coming, so is life. Time to gear up, let loose and let it all get figured out. Hokay, go.