{calm after the storm}

my heart is refreshed. 

my soul is at ease. 

my mind holds no more signs of confliction. 

my body holds no angst. 

my ears have heard the Lord's voice spoken softly into my life & only good has come from it.

for those of you who may know, i applied to be on a team to India this summer to talk about & live out Jesus. after weeks of confusing uneasiness and honestly painful confliction about my choice & after i applied & was interviewed, God finally brought to my attention that I was doing this for myself and not for Him. 

{Unbeknownst to me of course, until now} 

Which was SO hard for me to understand why this was not where I was supposed to be because it is where I so wanted to be, but God has something else in store. 

After making the decision I found out that I was going to be accepted, and that they were set on me from the beginning which made me feel awful but also thankful that I do have what it takes to set the world on fire for the Lord... just not this summer in India.

After a series of events which confirmed God's hand in this decision, I don't think I have ever been more sure about any one thing. It wasn't an easy one, it was one I tried to run away from just so I didn't have to make it, but it was an important one in a series of future important ones that will continue to grow me into the best version of myself.

I don't know yet what that is or looks like, but I do know what it is like to hear the whisper of the Almighty God like a tickle in your ear, and instantly be overflowing with peace. 

And realizing that even my best intentions, if not in line with the fulfillment of His will, are only going to get me into trouble especially if I don't have my heart and soul in the same page.

I'm still learning with each step I take that I am not adequate on my own and that I need... just need.

Thank you to those who have been praying for me throughout this process and to those who recommended me and told people how much you love me, it was not in vain, if anything you also played a part in the communication of God's will & it really speaks volumes as to how great you are. And please still keep Team India in your prayers as they go out with the power of Christ this June.

now on to the next big girl decision...