Wednesday, January 13, 2010

innumerable joys


i have been constantly reminded these past few days of how many joys i have the privilege of experiencing.

everything from pursuing my passions as they become realities, to reading a book to my nephew... joys are endless, cast a brilliant light, and are filling like a hearty meal.

recently i have come to more of an understanding that i have previously been talking about to the naked ears of blog land, and i may sound like a broken record but... good heavens, we are lucky.

the more i sit and allow myself to fully experience in my own mind what my life is performing before my very eyes, the more i am engulfed by the feeling that i do not deserve it and am no where near thankful enough.

although i may say i live every moment to the fullest, and may say i find beauty in every circumstance... i don't. im as filthy and broken as the best and worst souls you will ever meet.

but now i say it and mean it... i can't wrap my head around the fact that my life is bursting at the seams with joy.

not without sorrow, regret, pain, confusion, loss of hope, weariness of soul and burdens of the heart. but in spite of these struggles joy prevails.

so as i approach this next day, and the day following... i choose to seek joy, not happiness. joy.


ready? go.

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