its official.

in my life.... there is no time for blogging.
which is a cryin shame, since i love it so.

when i do get the chance to blog it is either a link or an image or something silly and quick.
i am going the way of convenience and giving you the links to my tumblr and my twitter
(both of which I use consistently for quick updates)

blogspot, you have been lovely. there are so many great things about you. you rock, never change. see ya soon, let's hang out, call me this summer, here's my number [insert other typical yearbook cliche's here], love ya!
hah.

so, as promised, let's hang out here:

http://twitter.com/#!/rachelmc_cord

and here:

http://rachelceleste.tumblr.com/

don't you worry, all of you not on tumblr, you will rest safely on my google reader :)

farewell,
XO.

bits of things

first week of school. check.
after a a few classes, lots of emailing, meetings, shoots, projects, brainstortming, wandering about, best friend visits, quick disneyland nights, some old friend catch-ups over dinner and viewing of star trek 4... thus ends the first week, with heaps of sentimentality.

huge news. got a job offer this weekend (!!!) a real life big-girl job where i would be payed to do what i love to do. still praying, we'll see what God's got goin on. but real real exciting to seriously consider a viable option such as this so early in the semester before the final stages of "what the hell am i going to do with my life" panic ensues.

in other news, i realize i have posted z e r o proof of my visit overseas... so here you are. its a tease, with only one but let's be honest... there's no way you want to sift through over 2,000 that i took. forreal.

venice. only one of the most delightful/photogenic cities in ze world.

i move into my studio this week and will get to work on my show/life/work/humanity, ha.

last.

today is the first day of my last semester at biola.
sitting in spring convo chapel this morning when they had all the new students stand up and welcomed them into the community, i had instant flashbacks to when that was me.

17, shorter hair, undeclared, living with 2 new roommates in a crackerbox of a dorm room, completely figured myself out, so elated to be starting college away from home.
and now 4 years later i'm in the same girl just 21, longer hair, art major, living with 3 lovely housemates, still learning new things about myself everyday - no where near figured out, so elated to be in my last semester of college away from home.

so i guess it seems as though not much has changed, although i feel like a completely different person now than i did before i came.
i don't even want to think about how much i'm going to miss this place.
it has been the center of so much of my life and development over these past few years that i may just completely fall apart when i leave it because it has been my home and been so familiar for so long.

but im beyond excited for what God has for me this semester and all the seasons of my life that follow my days at Biola. i can't start getting sentimental yet, its only january.
but still... this place is great.

ching ching.

hope you had a very merry new year.

in the spirit of making commitments to improve my life... 

this is what i hope to do these next 12 months.

Love God better.

Love people better.

Make art better.

Spend my time better.

Forgive better.

Adventure better.

Help better.

Have passion for things better.

Care better.

Take pictures better.

Enjoy better.

Accomplish projects better.

Serve better.

Not stress out better.

Relax better.

Play better.

Exercise & eat better.

Hope better.

Support my family better.

Encourage better.

Communicate better.

Lead better.

Let go of things better.

Pursue my future better.

Sleep (more often) better.

Plan better.

Be a big girl better.

Have faith better.

Express my thankfulness better.

Rely on other people better.

Be a woman/daughter/sister/aunt/friend/girlfriend/student/employee better.

All in all... try my best to be better than I am. 

To live freely, to love deeply and to never forget even for a second how fortunate I am to have been given the life I call my own.

Cheers to a new year, my friends. It'll be great.

This day in [my] history...

Every once and a while I skim through my old blog posts from previous years.
I always peek and see if there is one I wrote on the same day on which I'm browsing.
It's always so interesting to reflect who I was, what I was thinking about and what I was feeling months ago or even years ago.

So today [in 2009] this is what I was thinking... and I haven't changed a bit.

_____________________________________

It's days like today that get me super pumped for heaven.

I didn't have a particularly bad day today, just an average day.

A day like a million other days I've spent, living my life, day to day.

Because it's all I've ever known how to do.

I just can't wait for the fact that in heaven I won't ever wake up tired.

I won't ever have to do homework, take tests or go to class.

I won't ever have to work, save money to buy things, or to even have to deal with the whole mess of money in general.

I won't ever have to say goodbye to the ones I care about. Just have continuous conversations.

I won't ever have to get sick, be late, or have to apologize for something I've done or haven't done.

I won't ever have to impress anyone or feel guilty about the things I'm not doing that I should be doing.

I won't ever judge anyone or look down upon those I subconsciously deem lesser than myself. 

I won't ever get cold, get lost while driving somewhere, stutter because I talk way too fast, or have to do my hair.

I won't ever have to fool others into thinking I'm smart, cool, hip or whatever it is I'm trying to prove at one time or another.

I won't have to read about celebrities and deem the ridiculous things they do as a point of interest.

I won't have to just sit and wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with my life. It will be done, I will have learned, I will be content, and I will be relieved.

I'll never have to be anywhere other than in the presence of God and do nothing but praise the crap outta Him.

And it's day's like today that I can't wait to meet Jesus.

oh.... hey.

yikes. its been quite a while since i've been able to sit down and blog.
even now i don't have time, and should be doing something more productive, buuut i've got some word vomit i should probably unleash, ha.

this semester is c r a y z a y. crayzaay. and i know i always say that, but this time its real...

i forget to eat meals because i don't have time.
i stand up for 6 hours straight.
i take at least 200 pictures a day between work and school.
every moment of my day is planned, written down, filed away, and scribbled on.
i've already found myself whining and i've only been here a little over a month.
(and i h a t e when i whine, its very unflattering).

its crazy, thats the only way i can figure out how to say.

B U T.

it is so rich. so full of energy, fulfillment, inspiration and lessons in humility.
i've learned to listen and then act.
to let myself breath and not be put-together at all times both physically and academically.
i've realized how to push through, get things done and do them as well as i can.
i've remembered that God is good. And is good at dealing with me, no matter how ridiculous my life gets.

i've grown up just in these past 6 weeks, and i cant figure out quite yet where to put that in my mind - but i'm getting closer.

p.s.. in my next post i'll letcha see what i've been working on during all these loony & long days.

yum.

"Every desire for good and happiness is for each person a great and insidious love... 

Love is the desire to possess what is good forever." - Plato

reset

sometimes it just takes a phone call to my dad, making brownies with my roommates, and a few episodes of sex & the city to reset my attitude button after a series of unfortunate events.

because in the past few days i've:
visited a museum (by myself, way less fun)
flooded my professors office
stubbed my toe
fell asleep multiple times in the same class period
had to rearrange an entire office space
nearly flashed a maintenance worker
and straight up acted ridiculous on several occasions.

needless to say its been stuggs, hardcore.

but, now the button has been pushed and i'm feeling more normal and less pathetic circumstantially. and it's time for tuesday.

and on a completely different note, i wish it was fall here.
i have a merciless desire to wear flannel, boots and scarves and do nothing but duck into coffee shops to get out of the rain.

autumn, come quickly if you please.

just at thought.

growing up is so weird. 

the more i think about it, the weirder it gets.

my last first day of school.

today was the last day of my last summer as college kid. w o a h.
it's weird when the moments that feel so far away are right in front of you, ready to be experienced. it feels like a game of hot potato. you wait for it to be your turn, and then once its in your hand you feel like dropping it. so nuts.

this summer has been close to one of the bests.
i spent loads of time with my family, friends and the outdoors.
i learned how to be alone with my thoughts, how to be quiet, and how to be still.
i intensely hunted down the illness i've been dealing with for nearly 6 years and almost have it beat - still healing. praise jesus.
i relished in the small things like feeding my nephews, walking my dog and sipping coffee slowly.
i deepened relationships with good friends, and had real good times doing so.
i again realized how incredible my family is, and what i vital part they play in my life and who i am.
i relied on my own strength and agenda, got burned, got lost, and ran as fast as i could back to God... never fully understanding why i left His side in the first place.
i was a part of the best day of my best friends life and got to cheer her on in her new marriage.
i got to test my skills both in writing and photography, stretched and grew greatly.
i ate good food, i laughed real hard, a drove with my windows down... i enjoyed my life.

i ultimately lived and truly learned. as weird as it sounds to think or type, it was the perfect way to end all my summers. it was good till the l a s t drop.

and now tomorrow is my last first day of school. so weird.
i can't wait to sit on those crusty bleachers with my best girls, perk up my ears to our pres DBC give a rousing charge at convocation, and start my final academic year with full lungs and an open mind.

hmmm [[ . . . }} hmm

Do you remember when the oceans sang in hymns
Do you remember when the stars used to play
Do you remember when we used to share our food
Well I do every second of the day

Have you ever wondered what's behind the sun
Have you ever thought of kissing the moon's rays
Do you remember when we used to dream without any fear
Well I do every second of the day
{Trevor Hall - Mirror of the Sky}

{photos via}

dive for dreams

dive for dreams - e.e. cummings
dive for dreams

or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind) 
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward) 
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding) 
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth) 
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds 
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were. 

silently if, out of not knowable 

silently if, out of not knowable 
night's utmost nothing, wanders a little guess 
(only which is this world) more my life does 
not leap than with the mystery your smile 
sings or if (spiralling as luminous 
they climb oblivion) voices who are dreams, 
less into heaven certainly earth swims 
than each my deeper death becomes your kiss 
losing through you what seemed myself, i find 
selves unimaginably mine; beyond 
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears 

yours is the light by which my spirit's born: 
yours is the darkness of my soul's return 
-you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars

realizing

i'm realizing things lately that i thought i already knew but didn't quite grasp.
that's an unsettling feeling - discovering something you thought was already true to you.
things about myself, things about what i want and how to get there, things about the core of what the heck i'm trying to do. and i'm still realizing, which makes me doubt it all entirely.

these are things i should not just now be realizing.

there's no ticking clock for them, but i just figured i was already past them, and apparently i'm not quite yet. odd.
all i can seem to do is take these waves of information in strides, bending and turning as my mind wraps around them and squeezes tight.
i'm realizing growing up has no charts, graphs, expectations or averages as to how you're supposed to do it.

i'm both rejuvenated and terrified of this fact.
but that won't stop me from realizing. realizing and adapting.
woah.

happy things

travel.

taste.

butterflies.

color/texture.

simplicity.

energy. 

joy.

nature.

passion.

and really really good hair.

dripping with goodness

"live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air..."

emerson

yes, sir.

"the key to change... is to let go of fear."

-rosanne cash

go get it.

"Whatever course you decide upon, 

there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. 

There are always difficulties arising 

which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. 

To map out a course of action and follow it 

to an end requires courage." 

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

now, it's time to run.

i want to

yes, i would like to do that.

i want to play with my nephews.

i want to find good graffiti. 

i want to get a polaroid camera.

i want to listen to some good live music.

i want to make this.

i want these pandas.

i want to figure out how the heck to do this.

i want to live in a land where there are no wants, but only haves.

heaven sounds pretty great right now, more pretty great than usual. 

sweet jesus, bring us through.

mi mama

happy MOTHER's day. to the coolest mom on the block...

it's true. she is the coolest.

don't believe me? i'll prove it.

:: she knows how to party, the woman can dance

:: she's a snappy dresser and her hair always looks fab

:: she is aging super well, i now have grounds for hoping to always look 28

:: she can cook like nobody's business, and even makes stuff up, but never fails

:: she knows like, 5 languages i believe. nuts

:: she is the best grandma to the best nephews

:: she is hilarious and has the most absurd squeal of a laugh, its great

:: she doesn't mind that i am always all over the place, in every way, she encourages it

:: she actually understands me when i start to talk in art-language

:: she is great at life talks & listening

:: she is where i got my creativity

:: she is where i learned how to support & encourage

:: she (almost) always has everything under control, and will admit when she doesn't

:: she has an unnatural obsession with Italian-style house decorations

:: she somehow managed to make my siblings and i turn out right despite our best efforts

:: she is my friend & let's me vent

:: she is my momma and i like it that way

love you, lady!

i will, i will.

"I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans; 

I will not reason and compare: my business is to create. " 

{william blake}

this is wonderful. pleasing. calming. beautiful. peaceful.

...this also further reinforces my desire to learn to play the banjo 

and run around like a bear-footed gypsy child all summer. 

which i will do... in 3ish weeks.