timeout.

it never fails.

i overbook//overstress//overcommit//overanalyze//& overwhelm myself during the last leg of the semester. i never take time to sit and relax.

n e v e r fails.

in addition to the stress of school-work-church-friends-events-life there is a chapel requirement. like most other biola students, i put off and cram like a Catholic at daily mass towards the end because we slacked off for most of the semester.

today there was a chapel called Sabbathing which is three hours long = 3 chapel credits. an obvious score.

i'd gone to Sabbathings before and they were fine, a little over an hour of quiet reflection followed by group reflection, debreif, scripture and prayer. that's fine, that's nice.

but today it was g r e a t.
my tired & jumbled little self really really needed it.
even though the first 20 minutes of the hour i was going through a mental checklist of all the other things i had to do, or could be doing instead of sitting in silence... when do i ever sit down for more than 10 minutes without feeling rushed/guilty i'm not being productive/ or stressed? God broke me & my schedule today.

i realized, again, that i put myself in a cycle of over-productivity followed by overstimulation, followed by overwhelming stress.
God busted that wide open today. halle to the lujah.

"Fear not for I have redeemed you; 

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; 

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; 

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, 

and the flames shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God, 

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, 

I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.

Fear not, for I am with you."

Isaiah 43:1-5

i am just one person, trying to do a million things by myself... no wonder i can't seem to manage. i hate being by myself, i need interaction and i need people.
so why do i choose to do everything by myself instead of asking for help or strength?
who knows. but i keep doing it, its stupid.

all i know is i just pressed a restart button on my semester. my l a s t fall semester.
its go time.
i'm gonna make it.
thanks Jesus.

jesus lovin' men

it is no surprise that i am into men who love jesus.

i would dare to say that its the most attractive thing about a man. 

well, i dont even dare, it is the most attractive thing about a man.

at Missions Conference it was SO refreshing to see my peers love on Jesus. 

so often i feel like [not all, but quite a few] men my age are hesitant to overtly praise God in their worship [closing eyes, lifting hands, etc]. partly because some don't care, partly because they don't feel the need to worship in that manner, and i would assume partly because they may not be comfortable. whatever the case, i have noticed this trend, in this case specifically at biola.

not that i believe raising your hands is the only way to express your worship to God because there is no one way, obviously. but it was such a seriously touching thing to see men of God praising their creator wholeheartedly with all that they are. 

i fully realize that this is odd to blog about, but more than anything it was such an encouragement to see my brothers in Christ living out their faith in such a real and expressive way. and being comforted by the fact that there are men who will rise up and lead with confidence and humility. im all over that.

keep on gettin' it boys.