it's setting in

senioritis.

i've lost [almost] all desire to be in school.
i'm procrastinating.
i'm dawdling.
i'm late to things.
i apologize to my planner for filling it from corner to corner; a cramped handwriting massacre.
i'm day dreaming about the elusive - yet ever present "after graduation"
i'm sleepy, always.
i'm too busy to do fun things.
i'm pretty sure even my camera battery is tired.
if i don't write it down, it doesn't happen.
oops. i guess that's how it goes.

the other day i was planning out some things [my show date, graduation, signatures, transfer classes etc] and it hit me...
my life as a student will be over f o r e v e r on may 28th, 2011.
i've been a student for like 16 years or something ridiculous, and now in 6 months i just... won't be.

the more i chat with my pals about their post grad plans, the more i realize that soon i will be expected to make some decisions, take some risks and be really really poor just like every graduate before me.  i'm not sure i'm okay with the social norm.

it's always been so far off in the distance that i've never stopped to consider what will happen when i actually get there.

well, i'm there and let me tell ya... it's weird.
and i know that in 6 months when this is all behind me, it will be even weirder.
it will be as if part of my identity has now been stripped away and i now have to figure out who i want to be for the next chunk of my life.
huh, so bizarre.
i'll letcha know what i can scrounge up.