the charade is over

its official.

2011-06-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

in my life.... there is no time for blogging.
which is a cryin shame, since i love it so.

when i do get the chance to blog it is either a link or an image or something silly and quick.
i am going the way of convenience and giving you the links to my tumblr and my twitter
(both of which I use consistently for quick updates)

blogspot, you have been lovely. there are so many great things about you. you rock, never change. see ya soon, let's hang out, call me this summer, here's my number [insert other typical yearbook cliche's here], love ya!
hah.

so, as promised, let's hang out here:

http://twitter.com/#!/rachelmc_cord

and here:

http://rachelceleste.tumblr.com/

don't you worry, all of you not on tumblr, you will rest safely on my google reader :)

farewell,
XO.

blog slacker

2011-06-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

dang. i haven't posted since APRIL.... its June.

proof that my life is outta control.

since then i have:

had my senior show
finished my last semester of college
GRADUATED & celebrated
moved out of my apartment & studio
bid farewell to all my dear friends
moved into a house with 6 other girls (where i live on a couch, on what used to be a back porch)
started summer school
tried to be a big girl, even though i don't want to.

so many things.
more updates to come!

time doesn't fly, it rockets.

2011-04-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

apparently now i just blog monthly. sad.

since my last update i have:

-not passed my biology class....depressing.
-enrolled in summer school for, you guessed it, more biology... slightly more depressing
-by said passing and enrolling discovered that i WILL graduate and WILL walk at graduation.. not at all depressing.
-finished the biolan, the yearbook, my pride and joy - which is now on the presses & comes out in early may.
-am currently at h o m e for spring break: enjoying my family, jesus, and finishing up my senior show.

so many hard things, mixed with so many good things. it's hard too keep up, even with my own life.
but i'm glad for the challenge and the diversity. spending my last few nights in my bed as an oregon resident and college student. so weird. so so weird, but good.

only a few more days at home before its show weekend.
those of you located in lovely southern california check out my show!
VERSO: towards | reverse.
a fine art photographic exhibition (speaking to the concept of time & misplaced memories)

May 2nd-6th in the Biola Univeristy Gallery (13800 Biola Ave. La Mirada, CA 90639)
Opening reception is Monday May 2nd 6-9pm - I'd love to see ya!

take care dear friends.

w o a h

2011-04-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

haven't blogged for like a month. crayzay.

since then i have been:

-conquering biology (and hopefully passing it)
-working like a madwoman on (school/ the biolan/my show, etc)
-enjoying friends
-not really sleeping
-not really eating regularly
-not really ever knowing what day or time it is
-having a very closeknit relationship with starbucks or really anything caffinated in a cup
-wishing the days towards graduation weren't ticking away so quickly.

my show is in TWENTY - FOUR days.
yikes.
can't wait for it to arrive // can't wait for it to be over.
such is life. bittersweet.

tomorrow.

2011-03-11T22:44:00.000-08:00

i am singing in public.
where people will hear me... and clap.
its gonna be real weird.
but hopefully real fun.

we shall see.
(but im real nervz)

In Waves

2011-03-07T20:05:00.000-08:00

it comes in waves.
the unbearable pinch
in the chest
due to the wincing of the heart
once reminded how
it truly feels.

it comes in waves.
the loss of breath
in the lungs
due to lack of speech
pulsing through the mouth grasping for
what to say.

it comes in waves.
the plummeting weight
in the stomach
due to the misplacement of love
which was once known in full but
now has fled.

it comes in waves.

aa is a champ.

2011-03-06T19:13:00.000-08:00

can't seem to get enough of this song this weekend.
aa bondy - black rain

Black rain, black rain
Don't fall on me
Can't you see I'm doin' my best
Black rain, black rain
Don't fall on me
When I lay to take my rest

And love, it don't die
It just goes from girl to girl
Town to town, rose to rose
All around the world
Like a ghost upon a breeze
In a land of elegies

Black rain, black rain
Don't catch me low
And cover the sinner sun
Black rain, black rain
Where can I go
When you leave me nowhere to run

And love, it don't die
It just goes from girl to girl
Town to town, rose to rose
All around the world
Like a ghost upon a breeze
In a land of elegies

happy mind, happy eyes.

2011-02-25T20:58:00.000-08:00

im f i n a l l y making progress towards my show! ptl.

for one of my classes we had to take 1,000 photos and do something interesting with them. dang.

all the while i was trying to brainstorm for my show, so i combined the two projects together.

below are a few sketches of ideas i would like to play out in my show.. really vague ideas at this point, but still ideas.

for these images i took a picture of my photo slideshow on my computer. as each image changed, they overlapped and i captured that overlap.

the interactions are so interesting and completely spontaneous, i had no control over their relationship, just over when i documented their interaction.

this was such a rich experience for me, i enjoyed every second.

i shot 500 of these interactions and printed 45 of them on vellum (an opaque paper substance) creating a book so you are able to see through both images to the images on the next page.

this is just a teaser of a few, but i thought i'd keep you posted on what i've been working on/thinking about.

since this project i've made significant progress towards my show and it's changed quite a bit, which is great. not ready to post those yet though... you'll just have to see them MAY 2ND!

(copyright rachel mccord photography 2011... stealing is wrong)

i get paid to do this

2011-02-18T01:28:00.000-08:00

just somethin for the yearbook.
even though i get paid to do this...i would still do it, even if i didn't get paid.
im making a divider for one of the spreads for the Biolan spelling out the word "academics" through books, by actually cutting through each word to spell it out.
it looks pretty rad, i'm really happy with it so far. even though i only have 3 letters, with like 2 hours spent on each... but nbd, i can never get enough of working with my hands and my headphones.
i love that this is my job. and that i get to do things that i love everyday, and get paid for it.
let's just hope that trend continues after my undergraduate career is over. [fingers crossed]

flu blues

2011-02-17T11:04:00.000-08:00

may or may not have lost like 5 pounds after having the stomach flu yesterday...
forget dieting, im just gonna start getting the flu!
kidding, but really...all my clothes fit better today/ although that could just be since all i was wearing yesterday was my down comforter and pepto bismol, but still.

happy health my friends,
please don't get the flu - its ze worst.

don't judge

2011-02-15T23:18:00.000-08:00

im obsessed with this song right now. stuck in my head a l l day.

struggs.

2011-02-13T15:55:00.000-08:00

im a sad girl today.
and will be for a while from what i can tell.
can't wait till i'm not not sad anymore.
but i just don't know when that will be.

bits of things

2011-02-06T12:23:00.000-08:00

first week of school. check.
after a a few classes, lots of emailing, meetings, shoots, projects, brainstortming, wandering about, best friend visits, quick disneyland nights, some old friend catch-ups over dinner and viewing of star trek 4... thus ends the first week, with heaps of sentimentality.

huge news. got a job offer this weekend (!!!) a real life big-girl job where i would be payed to do what i love to do. still praying, we'll see what God's got goin on. but real real exciting to seriously consider a viable option such as this so early in the semester before the final stages of "what the hell am i going to do with my life" panic ensues.

in other news, i realize i have posted z e r o proof of my visit overseas... so here you are. its a tease, with only one but let's be honest... there's no way you want to sift through over 2,000 that i took. forreal.

venice. only one of the most delightful/photogenic cities in ze world.

i move into my studio this week and will get to work on my show/life/work/humanity, ha.

last.

2011-01-31T13:33:00.000-08:00

today is the first day of my last semester at biola.
sitting in spring convo chapel this morning when they had all the new students stand up and welcomed them into the community, i had instant flashbacks to when that was me.

17, shorter hair, undeclared, living with 2 new roommates in a crackerbox of a dorm room, completely figured myself out, so elated to be starting college away from home.
and now 4 years later i'm in the same girl just 21, longer hair, art major, living with 3 lovely housemates, still learning new things about myself everyday - no where near figured out, so elated to be in my last semester of college away from home.

so i guess it seems as though not much has changed, although i feel like a completely different person now than i did before i came.
i don't even want to think about how much i'm going to miss this place.
it has been the center of so much of my life and development over these past few years that i may just completely fall apart when i leave it because it has been my home and been so familiar for so long.

but im beyond excited for what God has for me this semester and all the seasons of my life that follow my days at Biola. i can't start getting sentimental yet, its only january.
but still... this place is great.

back from Italia.

2011-01-28T14:19:00.000-08:00

wow wow wow.
just got back yesterday from my interterm trip to Italy.
my soul is still swimming with all that my eyes saw, all that my mind learned, and all that my heart felt. (photographic proof soon to come)

now i'm sleepily resetting my brain to school mode this next coming week and am preparing to look through all of the images i took while i was over in that beautiful country. i might have an art-attack while looking over them. and then may also have the sudden impulse to run back to the airport and catch the first flight to Florence that I can find/sell organs to afford.
but i'll probably refrain. probably.

my heart is so full, even though my mind and body are so weary.
that right there, is a feeling of great accomplishment.
ciao ciao.

tomorrow.

2011-01-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

tomorrow marks the last time i will drive back to school for spring semester.
this may seem like a silly thing to get sentimental about, but here i go.

this is the last time i'll drive sleepily after a blissful christmas holiday back to california - rested and ready.
except this time i get to have an italian hiatus before embarking on the semester. which still hasn't fully digested in my mind yet, but im starting to pull my head out of the clouds a bit and realize that on sunday i will be getting another stamp on my passport. (!) i think my camera may be more aware of what's happening at this point than i am.

this is the last week that ill complete final registration, scour amazon for cheap textbooks, move back into my apartment and say hello again to my dear friends.

this is the beginning of the last familiar cycle in my life.
after this semester is over nothing is certain.

makes my fingers tingle a little just typing it.
but God is good, im a tough cookie and ive got some great experience under my belt.
i should probably be more worried than i am, but taking things in stride is my specialty.

now its time to pack up my life, crank up my jeep and say farewell to my beloved hometown, until next time. crazy.

so fascinating.

2011-01-04T17:46:00.000-08:00

the story of a nanny who was an undiscovered photographer. her work was just found last year and had never previously been seen. its up to par with all the greats of 20th century photography. i just watched this twice. so obsessed. her work is beautiful and so interesting.
...the host of the show is a loser, but its worth it. i pinky swear.

ching ching.

2011-01-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

hope you had a very merry new year.

in the spirit of making commitments to improve my life...

this is what i hope to do these next 12 months.

Love God better.

Love people better.

Make art better.

Spend my time better.

Forgive better.

Adventure better.

Help better.

Have passion for things better.

Care better.

Take pictures better.

Enjoy better.

Accomplish projects better.

Serve better.

Not stress out better.

Relax better.

Play better.

Exercise & eat better.

Hope better.

Support my family better.

Encourage better.

Communicate better.

Lead better.

Let go of things better.

Pursue my future better.

Sleep (more often) better.

Plan better.

Be a big girl better.

Have faith better.

Express my thankfulness better.

Rely on other people better.

Be a woman/daughter/sister/aunt/friend/girlfriend/student/employee better.

All in all... try my best to be better than I am.

To live freely, to love deeply and to never forget even for a second how fortunate I am to have been given the life I call my own.

Cheers to a new year, my friends. It'll be great.

twentyeleven

2010-12-31T17:28:00.000-08:00

happy next year of life my fine friends!

may you be both silly & wise in twentyeleven.

why BBC always wins my vote...

2010-12-30T16:02:00.001-08:00

i don't even care that this is stupid. it gets me e v e r y time.

woah.

2010-12-23T14:24:00.000-08:00

hmmm.... i'm a happy girl right now.

for reasons soon to be explained.

i always forget

2010-12-22T14:36:00.000-08:00

i love being home, but every time i come back i seem to forget that i do.

i love the cold, the rain, the light traffic, the nostalgia of familiar street signs and landmarks, the autopilot that turns on in my mind, the smell of my house, the love from my family, the habits that return, the atmosphere that i seamlessly slip back into, the fact that i can't go anywhere without seeing someone that i know, the chill in the air, the leaves on the ground and the feeling of belonging.

i will always love this place, simply because its been my home for so many years and has become such an important part of who i am now.

and im soaking as much of it up as i possibly can because after this spring, i don't know where i will call my home. i just hope wherever that is, i will never disregard how much i love my hometown, and how much i'll miss it when i have to grow up and move on.

don't mean to get so sentimental, but thats just what this place does to me. mmmm.

i did it.

2010-12-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

finals week... over.

can't believe i actually got everything done, on time and done well - for the most part.
praise jesus.

now comes the part i'm not so good at, slowing down.
the two things i'm worst at are resting and spending time alone.
both of which i will be doing a lot of this week.

i've decided to take this week to rest, reflect, and hang out with as many friends as i can before heading home for break. because this time next semester i will be packing up and shipping out. weird, im just not ready for that yet.

and now is the time of year (both academic and calendar) i get overly sentimental and need all the personal friendship connections i can get! ergo, the 4 extra days to stick around.

after lost of end of ze semester celebrating with pals, ill head up to san francisco to play and see my dearest brooke, then i'm homeward bound.

still can't believe its the middle of december and time to go home. dang.

poison & wine

2010-12-12T01:10:00.001-08:00

this song is the most beautiful thing i've heard in weeks.
(and no, i didn't not discover it on grey's anatomy)

yikes

2010-12-10T18:23:00.000-08:00

sometimes things are hard, just because they're hard.
not because of something i could have done differently or because i was in the wrong place at the wrong time.. just because it in itself is difficult.

this week i experienced a new kind of hard.
i was stretched in every way possible.
i didn't go to sleep before 4am all week... & straight up just didn't sleep at yesterday.
i had every minute of my day written down, underlined, post-it noted and crossed out.
i spent literally 90% my day in front of a computer screen.
i've had not only overwhelming projects to conquer at school, but also had daily shoots at work to edit and post.
i've had a headache pretty much solid since sunday afternoon.
i had my senior show concept demolished, now left to start from nothing all over again.

this. week. was. hard.

but somehow, this week was great.

i got overwhelmingly high praise from my boss. which i was not expecting.
i logged some quality time with my beloved friends in the art lab, who were also getting murdered by their schedules.
i got great feedback on my commercial portfolio as well as my hefty semester long project.
i felt the love and support of those i care about most in this time of craziness and disappointments.
i realized that i'm human, and suck at most things, and that it's ok to be weak and let people help you.

pretty sure this was the most difficult week of my academic career.
even my eyelashes are tired.

don't mean to whine, just gotta get it out somehow.

now on to a restful weekend and two more finals on monday. then its ciao fall 2010. and hello christmas break & I T A L Y. crazy.

timeout.

2010-12-04T13:25:00.000-08:00

it never fails.

i overbook//overstress//overcommit//overanalyze//& overwhelm myself during the last leg of the semester. i never take time to sit and relax.

n e v e r fails.

in addition to the stress of school-work-church-friends-events-life there is a chapel requirement. like most other biola students, i put off and cram like a Catholic at daily mass towards the end because we slacked off for most of the semester.

today there was a chapel called Sabbathing which is three hours long = 3 chapel credits. an obvious score.

i'd gone to Sabbathings before and they were fine, a little over an hour of quiet reflection followed by group reflection, debreif, scripture and prayer. that's fine, that's nice.

but today it was g r e a t.
my tired & jumbled little self really really needed it.
even though the first 20 minutes of the hour i was going through a mental checklist of all the other things i had to do, or could be doing instead of sitting in silence... when do i ever sit down for more than 10 minutes without feeling rushed/guilty i'm not being productive/ or stressed? God broke me & my schedule today.

i realized, again, that i put myself in a cycle of over-productivity followed by overstimulation, followed by overwhelming stress.
God busted that wide open today. halle to the lujah.

"Fear not for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name, you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;

when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,

and the flames shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,

the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you,

I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.

Fear not, for I am with you."

Isaiah 43:1-5

i am just one person, trying to do a million things by myself... no wonder i can't seem to manage. i hate being by myself, i need interaction and i need people.
so why do i choose to do everything by myself instead of asking for help or strength?
who knows. but i keep doing it, its stupid.

all i know is i just pressed a restart button on my semester. my l a s t fall semester.
its go time.
i'm gonna make it.
thanks Jesus.

struggs.

2010-11-30T22:33:00.000-08:00

just spent the last 11 hours in the airport. 10am - 9pm. flight delayed, then delayed, then delayed, then cancelled. at one point the plane i was supposed to get on, once it was in the air, it turned a r o u n d. what? really? yes. madness.

11 hours, 2 diet cokes, lots of photoshop, and 3 free "oops, we're sorry" pieces of pizza later. i am still in medford, oregon. and it is no longer thanksgiving break.
this is silly/stressful/tiring/reallynothelpfulatall.

ok, i just needed to get it out.
i'm done whining now, i think.

fingers crossed that wind shileds on planes don't crack tomorrow and don't need to be teased and repaired for 11 hours.

(also fingers crossed that the completely dreamy man in the leather jacket is on the flight tomorrow. i could smell his armani from 5 feet away. yeah, that good. i may or may not have been in the same room with him for too long. only time will tell)

why thanksgiving was great

2010-11-30T01:10:00.000-08:00

thanksgiving was great because...

right when i walked off the plane i saw snow on the ground. ptl.

i closed my moleskin planner at baggage claim and didn't crack it once till monday.

i did 4 photo shoots. yeah. f o u r. (both great & grueling)

i got to wear scarves, boots, jackets and socks. everyday. mmm.

i logged copious amounts of nephew cuddling, family love time and friend fun.

i was freezing for a whole week (literally, our heater broke), and loved it.

even though i had to work more than i got to play, i was in my house, at my home, savoring the part of my life which takes place in a different area code.

the next 3 weeks will be a marathon, and i'll have the warm fuzziness of tgives to hold me over till christmas.

here is some evidence...

pure glory.

the grandest mccord/fair/scott/pannell tradition of all time

the result of: me, lauren, childhood nostalgia and a wee bit too much Riesling.

the original thanksgiving, obv.

homehomehome

2010-11-24T10:58:00.000-08:00

snow, leaves, lunch dates, ice cream runs, impromptu piano lesson, and nephew cuddle sessions.

so good to be home.

it's setting in

2010-11-16T00:16:00.000-08:00

senioritis.

i've lost [almost] all desire to be in school.
i'm procrastinating.
i'm dawdling.
i'm late to things.
i apologize to my planner for filling it from corner to corner; a cramped handwriting massacre.
i'm day dreaming about the elusive - yet ever present "after graduation"
i'm sleepy, always.
i'm too busy to do fun things.
i'm pretty sure even my camera battery is tired.
if i don't write it down, it doesn't happen.
oops. i guess that's how it goes.

the other day i was planning out some things [my show date, graduation, signatures, transfer classes etc] and it hit me...
my life as a student will be over f o r e v e r on may 28th, 2011.
i've been a student for like 16 years or something ridiculous, and now in 6 months i just... won't be.

the more i chat with my pals about their post grad plans, the more i realize that soon i will be expected to make some decisions, take some risks and be really really poor just like every graduate before me. i'm not sure i'm okay with the social norm.

it's always been so far off in the distance that i've never stopped to consider what will happen when i actually get there.

well, i'm there and let me tell ya... it's weird.
and i know that in 6 months when this is all behind me, it will be even weirder.
it will be as if part of my identity has now been stripped away and i now have to figure out who i want to be for the next chunk of my life.
huh, so bizarre.
i'll letcha know what i can scrounge up.

too busy to blog

2010-11-14T13:42:00.000-08:00

because this is what my days feel like...

[philip lorca dicorcia, look em up.]

9 more days till i am home in oregon.
where i plan to drink chai every day, keep my planner tucked away in my suitcase, pile on many layers of warm clothing & lots of mccord hugs, and bask in the slowness of life, the falling of leaves and use of my windshield wipers.

cannot wait. c a n n o t.

but these next 9 days will be jampacked. yikes. just thinking about it makes me want to take a nap. maybe i will...

amen to that.

2010-11-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

seriously, amen.

gearing up for another week of absolute craziness.

i'm sure you are as well.

godspeed, my friend.

i love being aunt ray ray.

2010-11-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

yesterday my heart melted into a puddle on the floor. and i'm pretty sure its still there.

amber (one of my sisters) called me in class and as i picked up i heard this lovely little voice saying: "oh, hi ray ray, i miss you!"

U G H. slayed me, right then and there. insta-tears.
it was Lawson, my favorite freakin 2 year old.

shortly followed by this little voice: "blorajdja hi rayraaay asndlk"

Tanner, my favorite one year old.

my day was made, and i had a silly smile on my face for at least an hour.

after talking to amber for a bit she told me that when my whole family gets together when i'm at school Law always says "where's ray ray?"
my dear sweet little neph notices when im gone.

gosh, so amazing. and breaks my heart even more that i'm not there.

after lawson singing me a song and tanner mumbling adorably i said goodbye - feeling so refreshed and loved and missed. and now i really s e r i o u s l y can't wait to go home and squeeze the living daylights out of these little creatures. only 18 more dayssss. ptl.

spice up your l i f e.

2010-11-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

for halloween my dear sweet roommates and i went as the Spice Girls, duh.

Angela - Sporty Spice (hence the sports bra)

Melissa - Posh Spice (hence the black)

Myself - Ginger Spice (hence the red)

Christina - Baby Spice (hence the pigtails)

also, our friend Sam was Bob Dylan

we (with our neighbors in our apartment) impromptu trick or treated,

we played fax machine, we played cutthroat mofia,

we acted like 6 year olds when we hoarded/traded candy,

we watched a scary movie before bed and were terrified for hours.

overall we just played which was lovely.

and this candy has been sitting on our counter ever since...

since then i have...

spent 10 hours on an insanely meticulous art installation with my photographer at work, taught myself how to print a photo on wood with liquid light, got kicked out of class for not doing the reading, didn't eat for 12 hours straight (on accident), attempted to do an art instillation in the park with dresses illuminated by candles hanging from trees, and nearly caught the whole place on fire due to the dress that burst into flames, after which i had to buy tons of neosporin for my blistering hot wax burns, and wanted everyday to be cold and at home instead of sweating it out in 90 degree heat in november.

its been struggs to say the least.

but i'm done whining now, just had to get it out.

it's now the weekend, and tomorrow were throwing a man-themed birthday party for Melissa (Posh Spice), complete with mustache cake, xbox, pickup line contest, burgers, coffee and donuts and man attire. should be a whole bunch of manly fun. mmm.

i will never get tired of this

2010-11-01T14:04:00.001-07:00

beyond precious.
watch.

n o v e m b e r r r r .

2010-11-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

i love november.

its one of the most pleasant months.

in 4 weeks i will be in this very spot, hopefully with another enormous leaf like this.

my soul is happiest when it's a little chilled, when i'm with the ones i love,

and when i'm breathing deep the change of seasons.

O R E G O N, come quickly please.

i think i can, i think i can, i think i can...

2010-10-31T15:45:00.000-07:00

... i think.

once again, my life is so busy that its stupid.
and i've learned one thing from all of it - i can do whatever i set my mind to. seriously.

there hasn't been one project, one idea, one job that i've had the inspiration to do that turned out horribly. everything i've tried - i've completed. everything i've thought up - i've made into physical form.

this is something i've never sat down and thought about. and once i did, it blew my mind.
i've been so blessed with the opportunities i've had and the inspirations i've been given.

and the encouragement from my peers, my professors, my colleagues at work, my bosses at my internships, my family and even my friends who have no idea about what the heck i'm making... makes a world of difference.

the positive reinforcement i've been receiving is the biggest motivator i have to keep going. even when my little brain is empty and inspiration is dry.

its making me realize more and more how invested i am & how energized i become when i'm part of a community.

so even in the midst of midterm-mayhem, i think i can... so therefore i can. PTL.

p.s... pictures of what i've been slaving over these days are soon to come.

This day in [my] history...

2010-10-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

Every once and a while I skim through my old blog posts from previous years.
I always peek and see if there is one I wrote on the same day on which I'm browsing.
It's always so interesting to reflect who I was, what I was thinking about and what I was feeling months ago or even years ago.

So today [in 2009] this is what I was thinking... and I haven't changed a bit.

_____________________________________

It's days like today that get me super pumped for heaven.

I didn't have a particularly bad day today, just an average day.

A day like a million other days I've spent, living my life, day to day.

Because it's all I've ever known how to do.

I just can't wait for the fact that in heaven I won't ever wake up tired.

I won't ever have to do homework, take tests or go to class.

I won't ever have to work, save money to buy things, or to even have to deal with the whole mess of money in general.

I won't ever have to say goodbye to the ones I care about. Just have continuous conversations.

I won't ever have to get sick, be late, or have to apologize for something I've done or haven't done.

I won't ever have to impress anyone or feel guilty about the things I'm not doing that I should be doing.

I won't ever judge anyone or look down upon those I subconsciously deem lesser than myself.

I won't ever get cold, get lost while driving somewhere, stutter because I talk way too fast, or have to do my hair.

I won't ever have to fool others into thinking I'm smart, cool, hip or whatever it is I'm trying to prove at one time or another.

I won't have to read about celebrities and deem the ridiculous things they do as a point of interest.

I won't have to just sit and wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with my life. It will be done, I will have learned, I will be content, and I will be relieved.

I'll never have to be anywhere other than in the presence of God and do nothing but praise the crap outta Him.

And it's day's like today that I can't wait to meet Jesus.

bad day.

2010-10-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

you know when you have one of those days when lots of tiny tragic things keep happening that by themselves - not a big deal, but when you put them all together you feel like you're going crazy?

i had one of those days today.
not a fan.

all thats left to do is snuggle my worries away on the couch, eat ice cream and watch old episodes of project runway, and hope the rest of the world stays away.

hope you had a happier monday than i, friends.

watch this, seriously.

2010-10-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

most beautiful thing i have laid eyes on in quite some time.
[ i watched it three times in a row, couldn't get enough]

Dark Side of the Lens by Astray Films

breathtakingly gorgeous, right? yep.

happy thursday, friends.

boo hoo hoo.

2010-10-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

6 weeks till tgive 2010.

missing my family lots these days.

soon i will be home for a blissful w e e k of relational love.

being the only mccord in california wears on you after a while.

big day.

2010-10-14T15:18:00.000-07:00

today i decided what i will create for my senior show.

(!!!)

which is pretty much the most important thing i will ever do in my undergraduate career and will be my first professional body of work which i will use as a portfolio builder to launch myself into the world.

and today i decided what im going to do & how i'm going to do it.

it felt surreal to finally be at the place i've been daydreaming of since sophomore year.
but i'm beyond excited to get started and make work that i'm passionate about for no other reason than my desire to make something beautiful & meaningful for others to look at.

just hope my thoughts translate well into physical form. i suppose we shall see at my show come spring! so excited.

p.s... please come see it, okay? okay.

tuition dollars paying off

2010-10-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

since i've been chatting so much about how out of control my schedule is... i thought i'd show you why.

my second home is mcnally 82: the art lab.

i spend more time here than i do in my apartment these days.

but i don't mind looking like this, if my work looks like this.

here's some tidbits of projects i've been working on in my advanced photo classes & at work:

large format 4x5 film camera with natural lighting

printed digitally; triptych format (3 images)

large format 4x5 film camera & studio strobe lighting

35mm film camera layering of multiple negatives

(digital version, darkroom version still to come)

trying my hand in sports photography for work at the biolan.

so much different than what i'm used to shooting, definitely still rusty but learning.

i seriously learn something critically important everrrry day.

all photo, all the time. nuts. great. love it.

oh.... hey.

2010-10-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

yikes. its been quite a while since i've been able to sit down and blog.
even now i don't have time, and should be doing something more productive, buuut i've got some word vomit i should probably unleash, ha.

this semester is c r a y z a y. crayzaay. and i know i always say that, but this time its real...

i forget to eat meals because i don't have time.
i stand up for 6 hours straight.
i take at least 200 pictures a day between work and school.
every moment of my day is planned, written down, filed away, and scribbled on.
i've already found myself whining and i've only been here a little over a month.
(and i h a t e when i whine, its very unflattering).

its crazy, thats the only way i can figure out how to say.

B U T.

it is so rich. so full of energy, fulfillment, inspiration and lessons in humility.
i've learned to listen and then act.
to let myself breath and not be put-together at all times both physically and academically.
i've realized how to push through, get things done and do them as well as i can.
i've remembered that God is good. And is good at dealing with me, no matter how ridiculous my life gets.

i've grown up just in these past 6 weeks, and i cant figure out quite yet where to put that in my mind - but i'm getting closer.

p.s.. in my next post i'll letcha see what i've been working on during all these loony & long days.

yum.

2010-10-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

"Every desire for good and happiness is for each person a great and insidious love...

Love is the desire to possess what is good forever." - Plato

im tired.

2010-09-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

its only been a month of school, and im already tired.
i already want to sleep through classes and run away to the beach.
i am already starting to tune out during lectures and procrastinate.
but i love what i'm doing, so why am i all outta whack? who knows. mystery.

this is not so good, as you might imagine.

i need a jump start of the: mind, body, spirit, energy, attitude and appetite for my life.

otherwise i will continue to look like this.

and let's be real, no one wants to see that...

giggles & lasagna

2010-09-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

i'm realizing something that makes me happy every time - never failing, is community. whether a situation is completely miserable or amazing, it is made better by sharing it with someone, anyone.

earlier today i did a photoshoot for the r.a. staff of a dorm on campus, and i only knew 1 girl out of the 7. and it's always a little odd to photograph groups, especially groups of girls that are your peers - it always takes them a while to trust you and relax. but later into the shoot, i realized what great girls they were and how kindhearted and hilarious each one was. even though i never met any of them until that moment, i felt so comfortable interacting with them - result of good community.

tonight my roommates and i went next door to our neighbors apartment with about 10 other people, ate lasagna and played telephone pictionary (which is fantastic) for hours on end, laughing ourselves silly.

even though, again, i didn't even know several of the people before that interaction, it was so great to be so chummy with them and my dear friends. it is situations like these when i remember how important communication, interaction and quality time are to me - they're game changers. i value my time with people so highly. i dislike being by myself for long periods of time - people are like my batteries, they charge me with energy.

i think i'm also realizing that this is the l a s t time i will get to live in such a thriving community of people with such good hearts.

this is my l a s t year of college. that still hasn't really hit home yet for me, but im slowly coming to grips with the fact that i am not peter pan, and that i eventually have to grow up.

but not yet, i've got some more giggling to do.

little box.

2010-09-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

one of my fave photogs, spreading some juicy photog wisdom.

(here's some of his work, if you are not familiar)

so great.

reset

2010-09-21T00:29:00.000-07:00

sometimes it just takes a phone call to my dad, making brownies with my roommates, and a few episodes of sex & the city to reset my attitude button after a series of unfortunate events.

because in the past few days i've:
visited a museum (by myself, way less fun)
flooded my professors office
stubbed my toe
fell asleep multiple times in the same class period
had to rearrange an entire office space
nearly flashed a maintenance worker
and straight up acted ridiculous on several occasions.

needless to say its been stuggs, hardcore.

but, now the button has been pushed and i'm feeling more normal and less pathetic circumstantially. and it's time for tuesday.

and on a completely different note, i wish it was fall here.
i have a merciless desire to wear flannel, boots and scarves and do nothing but duck into coffee shops to get out of the rain.

autumn, come quickly if you please.

learning from the greats

2010-09-18T21:23:00.000-07:00

soaking up their thoughts & images...

"I photograph elements of my life, places where I feel comfortable,

where my way of thinking is in line with that I am doing."

-Sebastiao Salgado

"I think if you don't love people and aren't fascinated by them, you'll never

succeed as a portrait photographer, because your pictures will look cold."

- Rankin

"I get excited about authenticity. I try to find something special.

I don't even know what it is. It's intuition."

- Rineke Dijkstra

"The key is to photograph your obsessions, whether that's old people's hands or skyscrapers. Think of a blank canvas, because that's what you've got,

and then think about what you want to see."

- David LaChapelle

This day in history...

2010-09-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

On this exact day/time/place last year, this is was what I was thinking, learning and feeling.
It's weird... not much of it has changed. That's both super comforting and a little unnerving.
________________________________________
From Septemeber 15, 2009:

I feel like everyday since I've been back at school I learn something about myself that I had forgotten about or newly discovered.

I've learned that I am a purely visual learner. If I can't see it, possibly feel it or visualize it somehow, it will go in one ear and out the other. Guaranteed.

I've learned that I don't talk as much as I thought. Those who know me well are howling with laughter at this moment I'm sure, but really, I've met some crazy crazy talkers these past few weeks. I'm put in my place next to them, man.. I didn't think it was possible.

I've learned I giggle when I don't have any clue what I'm doing. Trying to pass off my inablity as cuteness? Uncomfortable nervousness? Gut instinct? I dunno, its funny, and in turn makes me giggle more, duh.

I've learned that I get very emotionally invested in almost every situation in which I am involved. Lunch with friends, a piece of literature, song lyrics, my nephews every movement it seems, time with those i love, a circumstance I may hear in passing regarding someone I don't know and will never meet, the ridiculous story lines of teen soap operas, you name it, I'm sucked in.

I've learned that I am very selfish with my time. I am way too social for my own good and college is just a reciepe for every single class failure if I was allowed to play as much as my heart desires. So supressing my social butterfly within me is very hard to do and I've realized that because of this I am a time whore, reserving far more play time than work time in my schedule. Which is almost always impossible {sigh}.

I've learned how much I love to sing. Since being back at Mosaic Whittier, my lovely church, I've sang every week and never get tired of it. Never get bored of it. Never get self conscious about it. Weird, can't explain it, just love it.

I've learned that I should pursue what I want, even if I am self conscious if I will succeed. Which means I want to probably switch my emphasis from Design to Interdisciplinary which means I would study both Design and Photography, which is what I love and wanted to do from the start. I just got nervous, and am feeling affirmation that I should pursue it and design together, not just singularly. So, that's real exciting.
___________________________________

Crazy, but also not at all crazy. I'm finally realizing that I k n o w myself real well, and can both pull back and push forward things I want to keep and things I want to change.
Just thinking aloud I suppose, reflecting and readjusting.

boyz.

2010-09-13T23:20:00.000-07:00

the more i think about it, the more i realize i am drawn to boys who look/dress/groom like this.

oops. i guess i want a scruffy jcrew man.
who knew?
not i.

i get to go b a c k.

2010-09-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

the reason i haven't been posting like a madwoman about this already is because it is just now sinking in.

i have been blessed with the opportunity to trounce around Italy for 3 weeks with the Biola art department this january. so beyond pumped.

since we will be returning to many of the places that my family and i visited on our last trip, it will give me an opportunity to revel in every scene without having to feel like a mega tourist.

and now after 3 years of studio arts and 5 courses in art history... i'll know what i'm looking out and appreciate it a whole lot more and understand its context. and on top of that, one of my favorite professors in the art department & his wife are leading the trip so each conversation will be dripping with their insight & knowledge of art history.

i'm such a nerd because i legitimately can't wait for them to lecture the living daylights out of each painting. mmm. and i also can't wait to walk the streets of Italy, eat my weight in gelato & pasta, soak up all the pretty people/places/things, journal, photograph and be completely freezing in the middle of winter but not have a care in the world because of where i will be and what i will be experiencing. can't w a i t. can't wait.

just at thought.

2010-09-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

growing up is so weird.

the more i think about it, the weirder it gets.

that one time at Salvation Mountain.

2010-09-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

this is extremely long, i don't expect you to read it in its entirety. but if you do... you will probably be real glad you did, just sayin. hands down most ridiculous 24 hours of my life.

disclaimer: this is a true story. literally no exaggerations or fabrications. also thank God for the iphone.

it all started with me and christina wanting to go on an adventure over labor day weekend when literally a l l of our friends were out of town, busy or working. we thought about the beach, we thought about the city, and then we thought about salvation mountain... and stopped thinking, and went.
when i say stop thinking, we kind of really stopped thinking. we may or may not have lost all forms of common sense because we thought it sounded brilliant to leave in the evening, drive 4 hours, sleep in the back of my jeep, wake up the next morning and explore. right? easy enough. wrong... we were very wrong.
here is what happened and what turned into the most adventurous and hilarious experience of our lives.

so we decide to leave at around 7 after having dinner, getting gas and boba (duh) we were headed down the 91. a couple hours later when all the street lights were gone and the roads were out of control, we started to realize that this was real life, and really foolish, but of course kept going anyways.
our original plan was to pull off on the side of the road and park it for the night. after realizing that all the towns had less than 3 stop lights, were a stones throw from the mexico border, and were legitly filled with tweakers and nightdwellers... we started to pee our pants a bit.

we planned then to pull into a campsite and just park there, but naturally they were all closed or make believe because we found no campgrounds.
when we stopped at Ski's Inn (aka Skeeze Inn) to ask for directions in Bombay Beach, we were greeted with three very inebriated mexicans who then proceeded to ask us if we wanted to "let us follow them to the campsite." When that didn't work they straight up asked us if we wanted to party. After we rolled up our windows and sped off while they were running after our car.... we decided to look for a hotel, ha.

After checking out one hotel that was $50 and-a-prayer to stay alive-a-night, we asked a cop where the next closest/safest spot would be. After basically telling us how stupid we are, he gave us a couple cities to check out down the road. So off we went, i hope he at least got our plates in case our car was reported abandoned. I bet he's still giggling to himself, ha.

So here we are, its almost midnight, bouncing down the 111hwy, not sure where or if we will sleep, we pull into Calipatria Inn a few miles down and the office was closed, so we couldn't stay there. Pretty freaked out, tired, hungry and in desperate need of some bathrooms we just parked. After we parked and sat for a few minutes we thought, "Hey... let's just stay in the car here, its well lit and were surrounded by tons of cars." Deal.

Good thing that was the plan all along because n o w we were prepared. We pulled out our laptop, movies, candle, blankets and animal crackers. Livin the life. Even though it was 101 degrees at midnight and it felt like we were sleeping on the sun's back porch - we were parked and we were gonna sleep. Two happy campers. Still feelin kinda sketchy, I called one of my good friends at home to tell him where we were ( so at least someone would know our last location if we got snatched ) and he was on top of it in seconds, looking up where we were, how far it was from big cities and even devised a plan B for us if we got busted at the inn parking lot. We both felt instantly calmed and apparently just needed a boy to tell us that we would be safe if we stayed smart and should just chill out, because we did.

Since it was a million degrees, we had to sleep in our underwear and even then lost 10 pounds in sweat (which we later gained back in doughnuts), we woke up at the crack of dawn, 5am by both the sun and some noisy hunters slamming their doors and rustling about. We were then very aware that we were sweaty, in our underwear, and surrounded by strange men with guns. So as soon as they shipped off we peed behind the jeep and left.

Pumped that we actually made it through the night, we were blazing the 111 once again, on our way to meet Leonard and the Mountain. Once we got there the sun was on its way up, so we laid down with the trunk open, sleepy eyed and being wafted by the hot breeze, we watched the sun come up behind the cross on Salvation Mountain. Coolest moment I've had in a long while. Then we drank our Arizona tea and Hostess doughnuts, got dressed and walked across the street to see the mountain.

Right when we got there Leonard greeted us, gave us a dvd and a whole bunch of freakin postcards and magnets (which are now a l l hanging in our fridge), and he chatted us up for a few minutes, being as looney and kind as can be. He then insisted to show us around himself in his precious old straw hat and paint covered clothes, that man is a beast. For the next half hour Leonard chatted us up about the Mountain, how he made it, his tire trees, the kids that come see it and the fact that "if they get enough people to talk nice about it, congress will make it a natural treasure, and keep it around for like 500 years - it'll be fine, touch it, its tough as a boot. it'll be real nice, we can get can public restrooms and make it look real good."

Leonard = champion.

Then he told us to take the yellow brick road (like literally 8 times, his marbles may be entirely lost). So we did, walked to the top, and sat on the crest of the mountain and marveled at what the heck had happened and was happening. Then we ventured back down the mountain, paparazzied that place up, explored, talked, and giggled. Leonard had left for a bit, so we were the only ones on the mountain, probably the only ones for miles. It was crazy, and rejuvenating. After chatting some more with Leonard we were on our way (it was only 9am, which felt so insane). We took a jumping pic or two by the sign and hopped into my steaming hot baked potato of a car, we drove over to slab city and explored a bit. After walking on top of an old army bunker, we heard some door creaks, fan blows, and saw drillings and got the eff outta there, literally sprinting to the car. That's when we were ready to head home.

On the way out we thought oh hey, let's stop by the Salton Sea right? Wrong. That place looked and smelled like the dump. So we didn't swim in it leisurely as we intended, but we were there, which was good enough for us. Our ipods were real dead at this point, so we listened to adventures in oddessy tapes as I tried to pry my eyes open. After a stop at In-n-Out, caffiene, and lots of giggling about the day later, we were home. And passed out on the couch for three hours. S U C C E S S. Best day ever, you now understand our need to massively document every detail.

Also: "yeah sure, we'll party with you, we'd love to get raped," KOA closed till october?, peeing/screaming in hilarity behind the jeep, the painted vail/fear of cholera, ultra paranoid about the hunters, 3 hrs of sleep, flicking granola bar into christina's bra, "what's the difference between a crackhead and a tweaker? crackheads will steal your shit and bounce, tweakers will steal your shit and help you look for it," getting checked/insulted by border patrol, giggling/yell at Leonard, madly searching the iphone at all hours, nip slip in in-n-out bathroom, bonding like crazy... friendship heightened.

l o v e & m i s s

2010-09-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

miss these little creatures. real bad.

as if i don't talk enough already...

2010-09-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

... i have a n o t h e r blog. haha.
this one is more directive, though.
for my advanced integrated photography class i have to keep a blog of my inspirations, ideas, fave artists, responses to readings, progress on projects etc.
and since i wanted to keep my life-brain and school-brain somewhat separated, i just started a whole new space in which to think. so what i'm saying is, feel free to follow me here and there because i will still be posting on both.

>> THIS << will be my art blog, but i am def not abandoning this blog so, bounce around, feel it out, see which you like better. ha, not really. you are of course required by friendship to like them both, duh.

happy wednesdaying.

such a nerd.

2010-08-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

you know you're a nerd when you actually enjoy reading textbooks.
and you read them when they are assigned, actually take on what it is your reading, and remember it the next day in class without looking at your notes.

that happened to me t w i c e already this week. so weird.

but i'm oddly okay with it because that can only mean i've truly found what i love to do and don't mind thinking, reading, or talking about it for hours on end. which, i must say, is a good feeling.

so, now that i have more and more photo chapters to read, i'm gonna go geek it up and love every second.

my last first day of school.

2010-08-25T00:44:00.000-07:00

today was the last day of my last summer as college kid. w o a h.
it's weird when the moments that feel so far away are right in front of you, ready to be experienced. it feels like a game of hot potato. you wait for it to be your turn, and then once its in your hand you feel like dropping it. so nuts.

this summer has been close to one of the bests.
i spent loads of time with my family, friends and the outdoors.
i learned how to be alone with my thoughts, how to be quiet, and how to be still.
i intensely hunted down the illness i've been dealing with for nearly 6 years and almost have it beat - still healing. praise jesus.
i relished in the small things like feeding my nephews, walking my dog and sipping coffee slowly.
i deepened relationships with good friends, and had real good times doing so.
i again realized how incredible my family is, and what i vital part they play in my life and who i am.
i relied on my own strength and agenda, got burned, got lost, and ran as fast as i could back to God... never fully understanding why i left His side in the first place.
i was a part of the best day of my best friends life and got to cheer her on in her new marriage.
i got to test my skills both in writing and photography, stretched and grew greatly.
i ate good food, i laughed real hard, a drove with my windows down... i enjoyed my life.

i ultimately lived and truly learned. as weird as it sounds to think or type, it was the perfect way to end all my summers. it was good till the l a s t drop.

and now tomorrow is my last first day of school. so weird.
i can't wait to sit on those crusty bleachers with my best girls, perk up my ears to our pres DBC give a rousing charge at convocation, and start my final academic year with full lungs and an open mind.

obsessed with.

2010-08-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

these songs. some new, some old faves. nonetheless, they are my delights.
please love them, they won't let you down.

to build a home - patrick watson
heart full of pentagons - film school
i would die for you - matt walters
twenty-two - wakey! wakey!
all the beautiful things - the eels
the concubine - beirut
little blue mailbox - fink
bloodbuzz ohio - the national
i was broken - rob pattinson
go or go ahead - rufus wainwright
part one - band of horses
rococo - the arcade fire
liar - mumford and sons
these arms - the swell season

_____________________________________
in other news...

i am b a c k in la, back at biola, and back into college baby mode.
i will mumble about that later, right now im still a zombie from all the drivage and movage, ha.

all my bags are packed im ready to go...

2010-08-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

but i'm really not ready to go.
i hate the end of summer. always. every time. never fails.
yes, there's always a part of me that's excited to get back to school, friends and my whole life there... but it never ceases to suck leaving my cozy home and cozy hearts.

even after four years, i still haven't adjusted to packing & unpacking my whole life in the back of my jeep biannually.

even after four years, i always get homesick after my parents leave me with all my possessions and life continues back home while i have to start from scratch again.

even after four years, i always forget how blessed i am to be part of my family, and how much i miss them when i am gone.

even after four years, i'm still not used to being a student... but i also don't want to get used to being a graduate and grown up like the rest of the world 9 months from now. hmm, problem.

well, i suppose its time to face the music.

left to do:
- one last dinner at my grandparent's house
- tetris-pack the crap out of my jeep
- finish my l a s t anthropology class
- say farewell to my beloved oregon until november

readyyyy? go.

This day in history...

2010-08-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

My little brain works just like clockwork.
This exact day last summer this is what I was thinking, and wouldn't ya know it...
its exactly what I'm thinking now. Ha, some things really never change.

"6days6days6days6days6days6days.

Crazy.

I'm in the list making stage.

Soon I will be in the frantically gathering and compulsive late night hanging out stage.

Yikes summer, why'd you have to let fall be a big creeper and hijack all our merriment?"

So hilarious.

nephew l o v e time

2010-08-15T00:10:00.000-07:00

i got to paparazzi these bad boys for a few hours the other day... and it still wasn't enough.

i could hang with them all day long. such cool cats that just so happen to be related to me.

and they also happen to be extremely handsome. love it.

dying to see more?

thought so.

>> click here <<

love this.

2010-08-13T01:31:00.000-07:00

breathe deep

2010-08-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

went camping with some great people this past weekend.

it was magical. like a really good, satisfying deep breath.

we went up past Union Creek and all the campsites were full so we just hopped off the side of a logging road and pitched our 11 person tent (which was only probably intended for like 8 people) and proceeded to get down with nature.

being outside, sleeping in the dirt, counting stars, too many scary stories, making morning coffee runs and strolls by the water, napping by the campfire, being serenaded by harmonicas and guitars, breakfast smores, getting paralyzed by the insanely icy cold river, finally skipping rocks successfully, Crater Lake picnic, lots of giggles and nicknames. made my heart melt over and over.

needed it, loved it, will miss it.

hmmm [[ . . . }} hmm

2010-08-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when the oceans sang in hymns
Do you remember when the stars used to play
Do you remember when we used to share our food
Well I do every second of the day

Have you ever wondered what's behind the sun
Have you ever thought of kissing the moon's rays
Do you remember when we used to dream without any fear
Well I do every second of the day
{Trevor Hall - Mirror of the Sky}

{photos via}

not a lot

2010-08-05T00:24:00.000-07:00

not a lot to say these past few days.
except a few weird things.

i checked my strep throat v-card.
BUT my dr. misdiagnosed and gave me meds that did NOT work, which led to ANOTHER dr. correctly diagnosing. all in all resulting in prolonging of said illness. unwelcome silliness.
[strike 1]
i then proceeded to get strep throat.... on my face, i forgot what science calls, but thats legitimately what it is. its ridiculous and completely unsightly.
[strike 2]
i then proceeded to be a raging sickling for over a week.
[since l a s t tuesday to be exact - strike 3]

and am still nursing the remains of strep face and a wicked cough.

there were also a few good weird things.

i got to watch a lot of daytime tv and felt no shame.
although, did not become obsessed with tv or the internet. score.
i involuntarily lost 4 pounds.
had lots of time to perfect my fever reducing skills.
i now have a new found sense of adventure [stemming mostly from cabin fever]

summer time sickness happens to me like clockwork.
it's always my body telling me to chill out, since i rarely do.

i'm way chill so, can i go now? [ i think yes]
it's been a rough go. it w i l l go up from here.

p.s. i've been tweaking my site. take a peek or two.
www.rachelmccordphotography.com

dive for dreams

2010-08-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

dive for dreams - e.e. cummings
dive for dreams

or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind) 
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward) 
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding) 
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth) 
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds 
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were. 

silently if, out of not knowable 

silently if, out of not knowable 
night's utmost nothing, wanders a little guess 
(only which is this world) more my life does 
not leap than with the mystery your smile 
sings or if (spiralling as luminous 
they climb oblivion) voices who are dreams, 
less into heaven certainly earth swims 
than each my deeper death becomes your kiss 
losing through you what seemed myself, i find 
selves unimaginably mine; beyond 
sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears


yours is the light by which my spirit's born: 
yours is the darkness of my soul's return 
-you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars

guilty pleasure.

2010-07-28T12:13:00.000-07:00

so guilty that i don't even feel guilty.

apart from being a fox, the man's got pipes.

Listen to it here.

"I Was Broken" - Robert Pattinson

I was alone
I was tired but now im bound
My head is off the ground
For a long time I was so weary
Tired of the sound, I've heard before
Knowing of the nights I'm out the door
Haunted by the things I've made
Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade

Said I used to think the past was dead and gone
But I was wrong, so wrong
Whatever makes you blind must make you strong, make you strong
In my time I've melted into many forms
From the day that I was born, I know that there is no place to hide
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light

I was broken for a long time
But it's over now
Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over now

Yes and you,
yeah well you walk these lonely streets that people send, people send
There are some wounds that just can't mend
And I do pretend
Now I'm free from all the things that take my friends
And I will stand here till the end
Now I know I can take the moon
Stuck between the burning shade and the faded light
I was broken for a long time
But it's over now, it's over now
Mm it's over now, now, now
It's over now, it's over now.
It's over now, now

Said I was broken for a long time
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over, but it's over
But it's over now, now, now, now
But it's over, love is over
But it's over now
But it's over, love is over
But it's over now, now, now
I was broken for a long time now
But it's over, but it's over now yeah
Over now, it's all over, it's over now.

pure g o o d n e s s.

2010-07-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

tidbits of The Swell Season show.

it was on tuesday and my soul is still melting.

ugh, seriously so great.

thanks for the audible bliss.

until next time my fine musical friends...

f r e a k i n g out.

2010-07-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

in just a few short hours i will bask in the musical glory of these two melodious souls...

Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova & Friends - The Swell Season.

CAN

NOT

W A I T.

realizing

2010-07-20T00:08:00.000-07:00

i'm realizing things lately that i thought i already knew but didn't quite grasp.
that's an unsettling feeling - discovering something you thought was already true to you.
things about myself, things about what i want and how to get there, things about the core of what the heck i'm trying to do. and i'm still realizing, which makes me doubt it all entirely.

these are things i should not just now be realizing.

there's no ticking clock for them, but i just figured i was already past them, and apparently i'm not quite yet. odd.
all i can seem to do is take these waves of information in strides, bending and turning as my mind wraps around them and squeezes tight.
i'm realizing growing up has no charts, graphs, expectations or averages as to how you're supposed to do it.

i'm both rejuvenated and terrified of this fact.
but that won't stop me from realizing. realizing and adapting.
woah.

happy things

2010-07-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

travel.

taste.

butterflies.

color/texture.

simplicity.

energy.

joy.

nature.

passion.

and really really good hair.

w h e r e ?

2010-07-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

w h e r e are these men?

for real.

in real life w h e r e are there men like these?

i would like to meet them.

and soon... ish.

just makin headlines, nbd.

2010-07-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

check it outttt here. and join the local dish site (it's pretty legit)

i want i want, i need i need.

2010-07-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

to T R A V E L

I need to dip my toes in a distant shore.

I need to breath deep the foreign air.

I need to be horribly confused by a street map.

I need to eat gelato for 2 euros.

I need to wander happily, with no concern for getting lost.

I need to converse with the locals and giggle with passerby's.

I need to take photos, lots and lots of photos.

I need to sip cappuccino and people watch at a corner cafe.

I need to buy useless trinkets so that whenever I see them I will be reminded or that time and that place where I bought it.

I need to scratch my name in a tree or park bench so I have another reason to come back (and search for it).

I need to buy cheap wine that tastes just as good as a spendy US bottle.

I need to laugh, make memories and revel in new opportunities.

I want I want, I need I need to travel.

awake

2010-07-07T14:43:00.000-07:00

"How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker."

Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

dripping with goodness

2010-07-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

"live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air..."

emerson

i am published

2010-07-02T13:08:00.000-07:00

Check out my first article here at The Local Dish! And make sure to check out more of my stuff soon, and just enjoy TLD in general :) I have another article coming out next weeeeeek.

Happy Friday, friends!

yes, sir.

2010-07-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

"the key to change... is to let go of fear."

-rosanne cash

my best friend is a beauty queen.

2010-06-27T13:52:00.000-07:00

it's plain and simple... she was a gorgeous bride & is still a gorgeous newlywed.

love this lady bunches.

_______________________________

in other news:

i second shot a wedding last night with a friend of mine and will post a few teaser pics as well as a few on my site [ www.rachelmccordphotography.com ] which i will be updating with those and other images this week! so stay tuned!

happy sunday.

best. weekend. ever.

2010-06-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

no, i'm not exaggerating.

i think it really was one of the best weekends there ever was.

here are some (not nearly all, but some) reasons why...

the company.

these girls, among other fine friends MADE the weekend.

so many giggles.

the beach.

because well... look at it.

the food. happy hour tacos, wedding buffet & endless justifications that calories eaten in love and celebration don't count.

(which they don't).

my [21st] birthday.

i will never, by choice, have a birthday in america again.

it's just waaay to relaxing when you're on vacay.

these guys made sure i was a happy girl all day long.

lots of love & so fun!

oh, and not having to buy a drink all day was pretty sweet too.

the pool.

three pools. two happy hours. one swim up bar. you do the math.

the dancing.

jampacked dance floor from start to finish. so quality.

including dancing the macarena in a fountain and jumping in the ocean. perfect.

the wedding.

such an act of worship, the Spirit was definitely present.

beautiful, tearjerking, simple and exciting. so great.

and of course, these guys.

it was such a crazy joy explosion to celebrate these two.

still can't get over how epically fantastic it was. love you two & again, congratsss!

Mexico has been ruined for me forever because of this weekend.

I don't think much can top it.

I also don't think I'm gonna get used to no happy hours, no beach, no $5 tacos and fiestaing for a while...

Yikes. It was suuuuch a good time.

on becoming a real life big girl

2010-06-23T01:01:00.000-07:00

i turned 21 this weekend....

and it was glorious.

people always tell you on this particular anniversary of birth...

"have fun!!!! but not too much! ;)" while using way too many !!!'s and ;) ;)'s. ... but God bless 'em, they mean well.

they always tell you...

"liquor before beer, you're in the clear, clear before liquor you'll never be sicker."

they always tell you...

"don't do anything I would'nt do!"

they always tell you...

"put your wallet away. i'm buying you a drink, it's your birthday!"

this weekend... i never got sick once, always mixed well, didn't do anything you wouldn't do, and didn't buy a single bev on my bday & it was deeply fabulous.

although, i was pretty spoiled because i had the pleasure of turning the big two-one in puerto penasco, mexico while celebrating my beloved friend shannon's wedding (which was hands DOWN the most fantastic wedding i have ever attended/been in, btw. such a B L A S T)

at 12:01, i was greeted with hoots, hollers and of course tequila by dear friends. followed by the whole afternoon of sauntering back and forth between the beach, the waves, and the pool. followed then by a glam/laid back rehearsal dinner & cocktail after party.

it was a rough go, real hard day...

great friends, great sun, great times and great day, full of many"best birthday ever" thoughts.

i think i'm gonna like this big girl business.

p.s... i am finally (part-time) employed! i'm a freelance eater, photographer & writer for a foodie website. perfect summer job? i'm thinkin' cheaaa. PTL.

p.s.s... snippets of mexico adventuring to come :)

go get it.

2010-06-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

"Whatever course you decide upon,

there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.

There are always difficulties arising

which tempt you to believe that your critics are right.

To map out a course of action and follow it

to an end requires courage."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

now, it's time to run.

thing[ish] things.

2010-06-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

i have been home for nearly two weeks. and i still can't get over the fact that i have been home for nearly two weeks. i was always convinced time moved slower at home but i'm starting to learn that it moves much faster here because i have no schedule to abide by, so time just does whatever the heck it wants.

since i have arrived, and re-nested in dear old meddy, i have been....

-frantically job searching
-enjoying the heck out of my family
-paparazzing my nephews, as per ush.
-watching tv [luxury, such luxury since my tv-less existence at escuela]
-eating lunches with friends
-s l e e p i n g [both too much & not enough]
-crocheting, which there is never time to do
-drowning in the greatness of mccord bbq's
-working on my online class
-getting stuff to my eyeballs with my gramma's insane cuisine
-watching my brovah play softball
-missing my mosaic whittier family
-whipping my bod into summer shape
-taking life slowly, even though it is racing by already

and i cannot wait to...

-go out on ze boat, mmmm.
-find a stinkin j o b
-adventure about being summery
-hang out with dear friends
-turn TWENTY-ONE [pssst, june 18th, a week from yesterday]
-celebrate my beloved shannon tierney's wedding [a week from today]
-drool over the swell season at britt
-drink boba and swim in the nearest body of water until my brain falls out
-soak up my last summer as a college student... bizarre. SO bizarre.

just for funny's sake, here is evidence of hilarious summer adventure #1 with my dearest brooke...

goal: drink wine

problem: don't have a bottle opener

solution: use a drill to crank that sucker out

result: brooke & rachel = 1, cork =0

cheers my friends.

everyday i want to...

2010-06-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

"finish every day and be done with it. you have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

— ralph waldo emerson

everyday i want to pack up, get out and discover.

everyday i want to take pictures, for the rest of my everydays.

everyday i want to be a part of something revolutionary.

everyday i want to wander.

everyday i want to feel beautiful, if only for a moment.

everyday i want to move, breath & dance.

everyday i want to revel in something mundane.

everyday i want to live simpler than the day before.

everyday i want to be uninhibited.

everyday i want to find a little trouble.

everyday i want to find a boy with the perfect flannel.

everyday i want to be 12.

everyday i want to live.

s is for summer

2010-06-01T01:12:00.000-07:00

my bones are achey, my eyes are tired but my heart is happy and my mind is resting because it is SUMMER and i am finally HOME.

i love biola and all that i am blessed to do there and the people i get to be surrounded by, but as long as i live i will always love my dear friend oregon.

so far summer is off to a resounding start at the McCord house, as it always is... complete with unveiling/cleaning/repairing the boat for the summer, Sonic limeade/ocean water runs, communal lunches and dinners fully equipped with bevs, constant nephew entertainment and long overdue dosages of delicious family bonding.

oh summer, you are so lovely.
can't wait to catch up with old friends, unpack and start making plans to have adventures.
soon i'll have to start my 3 online classes and find a job... but for a day or two i plan to be blissfully unaware of adulthood and be a summer love child in every way achievable. duh.

p.s.. you may be sick of seeing these boys but i don't care because they make me smile until my face hurts. A N D they are deathly beautiful, proof:

my heart is home & so happy.

el F I N.

2010-05-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

here are some things i've been working on these past few weeks.

modernity final: visual response to manet's - the ragpicker

screen print and some hand painting on wood

first stages

during

finished piece

detail

_______________________________

printmaking final

linoleum cuts printed on maps affixed to a lamp shade with hand stitching details

a bit of a close up

detail

______________________________

photo II final

click here to view photo blog i kept for the final

______________________________

and after all this i'm...

done

DONE

D O N E!

i am a senior in college. both freaky & fantastic.

this year was a difficult and almost never ending with challenges, but despite that, it's been one of the best i've had yet. and i can't wait for this next and last year as a college girl.

thank you summer for f i n a l l y gracing me with your sweet presence. it's go time.

home stretch

2010-05-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

woah. i'm almost done.
with three classes done, two more crits, one more project to start & finish, one more paper and i am a senior in college.
(nuts, completely nuts)

yet as i have a few free moments to sit still, all i want to do is crochet, watch friends and drink tea... all of which i did today. oops.
i'm just so tired, i'm so ready to stop doing my best, i'm so ready to be a summer child that i let it beat me for a few hours...

this song was t h e best motivator today as i was working away on my printmaking final (that i finished, and its due tuesday, mega success)
____________________________

Come For Me - Charlie Hall

Jesus come take me away, I long to see Your face
This world is broken yet beautifully made,
Jesus come take me away
Jesus I’ll patiently wait, till like a vapor I’ll fade
Help me fulfill all your dreams for these days,
Jesus I’ll patiently wait

You’ll come again with a shout,
like a thief in the night you’ll come riding on clouds
Finally the voice I have followed for life
has a glorious face that is lit up with light
And you’ll come for me, no more pain, peace,
No more fear, release
just lost and consumed with my glorious King,

And you’ll come for me

Jesus today I am tired, I need your music to come and inspire
I give myself to be refined in this fire,
but Jesus today I’m so tired

Come for me
_________________________

and now after my few hour hiatus of movie watching with my high school girls, crochet & friends moments and giggle time with angela, nathan and christina... it's time to get it.

... aaand breath out.

2010-05-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

and just like that, weight off my shoulders.

after weeks of worrying, asking friends, asking professors, asking photographers, asking myself, asking anyone and everyone... i am proud finally breath out and say: i have an internship for the fall. [yesssss!]

with a photographer that i have heard nothing but great things about, in addition to his impressive body of work as well as great interactions i've had with him so far.
i can legitimately say that i am so stinkin excited.

in other news:

- it's dead week, and i am actually not dying yet, ha, just on an IV of diet coke and cat naps.

- still crossing my fingers for on campus job for the fall [think happy thoughts for me]

- my studio final projects are creepin up on me but aren't overwhelming which is a new feeling, i actually have a good handle on them and am happy with the way they're turning out so far, which is also a new feeling.

- i will be a senior in college in exactly 9 days. N U T S. who let this happen?

- the national is delicious, see for yourself down below:

i have no idea.

2010-05-15T00:23:00.000-07:00

its so funny how my mind works sometimes.

as i was sitting in the love nook, drinking tea, etching out my linoleum cut and watching gilmore girls i suddenly realized - i have no idea what i'm doing with my life.

it just sprung into my mind as if from no where and proceeded to stress the daylights out of me. within seconds my tea and homework became secondary to frantically googling photographers and their biographies, apartments in various cities, the average debt accrued from undergrad, "how to be a grown up" (yeah, really - i goog'ed it) and statistics on employment for art students post grad. and let me tell ya, it's not pretty.

i've never been a long term planner, but its something i am getting a lot better at. i'm getting better at choosing an economical option that may be just as good, just not what i had dreamed or envisioned for myself.

the greatest advice my dad ever gave me that i will always remember - is nothing absurdly profound or brilliantly different than what i'm sure your fathers told you, but since my dear old dad, who is the wisest of the wise told me, i'll take it to the bank.

it went something like "don't take a job just because it makes more money. because no matter how much money you have, if you don't do what you love you will never be rich." see? its gold.

and because of that little nugget, i've always been a big dreamer. having no doubt that i will do exactly what it is that i want to be doing with my self. and that i won't settle for things that are not advantageous to that end. and for the most part i have.

i did the sports i wanted, had the friends i wanted, did the things i wanted, dated the guys i wanted, went to the college i wanted, studied what i wanted, listen to the music i wanted, wore the clothes i wanted, went to the church i wanted, etc.

but i am graduating this time next spring and that f r e a k s me out because what if i won't get to do what it is that i want? i realize this sounds like a 5 yr old little punk that didn't get the barbie she wanted for her birthday. but if you know me, you will know that's not at all what i mean. i'm just terrified that i wont be able to pursue my dreams.

biggest current fear: what if i graduate and don't get to do photography? what if i get stuck in an office job i barely tolerate because its "smart" or "economical" and i never get out? what if i graduate and don't get to flesh out my passions, adventure, or pursue my dreams? what if i get so caught up in what i should do that i lose sight of what i desire to do and what God has created me to do?

after this craze, i sat and again realized - i am okay with having no idea what i'm doing with my life. seriously and truly okay.

because i know that there's a stirring in my soul that can't be quieted.

that there's a cause i must fight for, a passion i must pursue, a drive i can't ignore, and a God i live to serve that won't let my desires get trampled by cubicles, dingy coffee pots and clerical work without providing me a way to fulfill my kingdom potential.

so although i am terrified that i have no idea where i will be this time next year, i am confident that i will be somewhere and i will not be asking how i got there, i will be thankful for where i've been and where i'm going.

woah, all this from watching gilmore girls. nuts.

i want to

2010-05-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

yes, i would like to do that.

i want to play with my nephews.

i want to find good graffiti.

i want to get a polaroid camera.

i want to listen to some good live music.

i want to make this.

i want these pandas.

i want to figure out how the heck to do this.

i want to live in a land where there are no wants, but only haves.

heaven sounds pretty great right now, more pretty great than usual.

sweet jesus, bring us through.

bl[AH!] blah blah.

2010-05-10T17:34:00.000-07:00

it is literally hard to believe how insane of a drop my motivation just made.
in a matter of three days i have completely lost all will to finish the semester.
in the middle of writing my art therapy paper that is due in an hour and a half,
i seriously considered taking a nap instead of finishing it. i even calculated what grade
i would get if i didn't turn it in. after realizing i would get a C in the class, i decided against
the nap.

clearly i am losing it.

all i can think about is summer, not being in school, working, playing, sleeping, not writing papers or being in class and basking in new opportunities.

but before that can i happen i have about a million hours of studio work to complete my 3 studio final projects, i have to sit through a few crits, write a few more papers, go to a few more chapels, move out, pack up my jeep to the brim, watch my friendies graduate (which will be one of the few pleasantries in this list), say goodbye to my church family and then make the long trek back home.

but hey, i've done it before, i'll do it again.
i just hope my summer fever cools down enough for me to stop and enjoy the grumblings i just droned about.
ok. im done ranting now. its go time.
more diet coke and art therapy treatment modalities on substance abuse preeese.

mi mama

2010-05-09T17:06:00.000-07:00

happy MOTHER's day. to the coolest mom on the block...

it's true. she is the coolest.

don't believe me? i'll prove it.

:: she knows how to party, the woman can dance

:: she's a snappy dresser and her hair always looks fab

:: she is aging super well, i now have grounds for hoping to always look 28

:: she can cook like nobody's business, and even makes stuff up, but never fails

:: she knows like, 5 languages i believe. nuts

:: she is the best grandma to the best nephews

:: she is hilarious and has the most absurd squeal of a laugh, its great

:: she doesn't mind that i am always all over the place, in every way, she encourages it

:: she actually understands me when i start to talk in art-language

:: she is great at life talks & listening

:: she is where i got my creativity

:: she is where i learned how to support & encourage

:: she (almost) always has everything under control, and will admit when she doesn't

:: she has an unnatural obsession with Italian-style house decorations

:: she somehow managed to make my siblings and i turn out right despite our best efforts

:: she is my friend & let's me vent

:: she is my momma and i like it that way

love you, lady!

funny things {of life lately}

2010-05-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

work bonding with kelsey at our last event
{as alex rapid fired away}

DC came to town and Sunny dropped by

and it was a throwback... a supremely golden oldie.

sam francis is the king of everything beautiful.

she is my favorite person to be 12 with.

attempting to make icing... although angela didn't quuuuite
know the recipe as well as she claimed. but its ok because
she makes killer watermelon cookies.

but the cookies came out well {before/after}, haha. ahh, classic.
lingerie love time for dearest shan

got some good loot

with good company
_________________________________

- unfun things:

:: its getting real hot in good old la mirada which means real hot walks to school and real hot nights with lots of fan blowin.

:: lots and lots of things due this week and next which means little sleep and not enough time.

:: i have to leave all my friends and church family soon. uprooting never gets easier.

:: life is stressful, and just full.

:: this summer will be busy, i still don't have an internship and my computer still decides to die 3 times daily.

:: i missed & will be missing my nephew's bday/grandpa's bday/mother's day/sister's birthday/parent's anniversary. being far is no fun.

:: still feeling like i have mono 2 or 3 times a week. lingering.

but in spite of it all, this is glorious:

"let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you i trust. make me know the way i should go for to you i lift up my soul." psalm 143:8

i will, i will.

2010-05-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

"I must create a system or be enslaved by another mans;

I will not reason and compare: my business is to create. "

{william blake}

this is wonderful. pleasing. calming. beautiful. peaceful.

...this also further reinforces my desire to learn to play the banjo

and run around like a bear-footed gypsy child all summer.

which i will do... in 3ish weeks.

Help a sistah out!

2010-05-05T18:20:00.000-07:00

Hello my faithful friends,

As many of you may know, I have a this blog (duh, silly statement) in which I record life, thoughts, happenings and the general overflow that the walls of my mind can't keep in.

But {here's the part where you get stoked} I've created another blog for a class project. That's right. Two blogs. I may be crazy, but I'm embracing it. This blog is a space for something entirely different, however.

For my Photo II class our final project involves exploring digital media and this new blog will be a reflection of my attempt at understanding digital media in our contemporary context.

I will do so by creating a process of taking 50 photos a day, posting them along with text/literature/music/video/scripture/media/news etc. to create a cohesive stream of thought.

I can't guarantee it will all be great, but it will at least give me {and you, if you so desire} something to chew on and hopefully some pretty things will emerge along the way.

I hope you'll join me in this new little avenue of thought and art that I'm about to head towards. And please keep your eyes & minds peeled for any thing on here that may intrigue you.

And PLEASE feel free to comment as much as you like, it will be taken as a collaboration with my project that I would love to include.

So check it out >>HERE<< and see what I've got cookin' over there.

Thanks in advance, you guys are great!
See you here, and there...

xo, Rachel

either that or

2010-05-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

i am currently in the midst of a massive case of writers block. either that or i am yet again a procrastinating fool. either that or i am a tired girl with wide eyes for summer.

at any rate, my eyes and mind needed a swift hiatus for something beautiful.

and when i crave beautiful & lovely things....

... this is where i go > > {photos curtsey of: athingfor}

no longer

2010-05-04T00:29:00.000-07:00

no longer cringing
no longer tense
no longer avoiding
no longer spent.

no longer longing
no longer alert
no longer possessing
feelings of hurt.

no longer missing
no longer pained
no longer wishing
for what i once gained.

no longer burdened
by what i had lost
no longer dwelling
on what it cost.

no longer my problem

no longer my part

no longer affected by the cracks of my heart.

no longer am i tethered
no longer am i fearing
no longer am i unsure
that what took place was healing.
__________________________

"chains be broken
lives be healed
eyes be open
Christ is revealed."
{hillsong/hosea 6}

hallelujah.

Lawson Boyce McCord's SECOND glorious year in ze world!

2010-05-02T23:46:00.000-07:00

Today my first little nephew is 2 years old!

{what!? nuts}

Let me just tell you about this miniature sized champ...

He is THE coolest kid you will ever meet

{and his little bro, my other champ of

a nephew Tanner, is fighting him for the title}

He is a little rugrat that can dance like nobody's business

He loves/has an outrageous obsession with balloons... a forbidden love affair

He can say everyones name, assorted tidbits of vocab and random slews of drunken stammers and emotional expressions that sound like real sentences. He's a chatterbox, regardless.

He is always on the move, gobbling about and knocking everything out of his path. Nuts

He is clearly the life of the party, I mean c'mon he's a McCord, but more like an uberMcCord... he tops us all on the entertainment charts

He's a lover, not a fighter, well sometimes a fighter. But mostly a lover.

He is the cutest child and I am confident he will grow up to be popular, sporty, kind and good at everything, a quality which every current 2 year old female in our zip code will both love & love to hate

He is the biggest giggler and hoots like an owl. No lie, melts me everytime

He calls me Aunt Ray and its probably the greatest nick name I've ever had, just because he's the only one that calls me that

He is a master of mischievousness. Clearly.

If he wasn't 2 years old I'm convinced he would be clinically insane. Haha.

He & Tanner make aunthood a dream. I cannot imagine my life without them in it. It would not be nearly as happy of a place.

Favorite memory: one time I was giving him a bath and he was in the middle of screaming with delight {because he loves baths} and he stopped, looked at me, and gave me the huuugest hug and continued giggling. LOVE.

Lawson, you are supremely rad & I love YOU! Always, always.

{back when he was a wee not even 1 yr old}

{he will be my assistant when I hit it big. Obv}